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Song Details
Duration: 3:00 
Release Date: 2003  (Sonic SBL) 
Lyrics By: Jim DeCaire & Jim Bellmore (Sonic SBL) 
Music By: Jim DeCaire & Jim Bellmore (Sonic SBL) 
Produced By: Da Yoopers (Sonic SBL) 
Released By: You Guys Records/Hoolie Man Music (Sonic SBL) 
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Song Lyrics:
Cast:
Y = Yooper
T = Toilet


Y: Oh man, I've been waiting all day to take a dump in my own toilet. Errnhhh... Ohh! That feels good, hoh... Hey! Where's that music coming from? Sounds like it's coming from under my butt!

T: You come to me when you're sick (Y: Huh?)
Or just to sit and think (Y: Who is that?)
The only time you think of me
Is when I really stink (Y: Who stinks?)
You never want to brush me
The thought's too hard to bear (Y: Brush you?)
I love to get my bowl cleaned
More than once a year (Y: My ex-wife used to do that.)

T: I'm so sick of all this crap
And dealing with buttholes too (Y: Yes, whatcha sayin?)
You don't know how it feels (Y: What?)
When someone craps on you (Y: Yah, like now.)
I'm so cold and lonely
This life's the bitter end (Y: Cheer up, eh!)
I may be made of porcelain
But I sure could use a friend

Y: Uh, so--so I think I know who this is. Yah, yah. I bet this is my ex-wife, you got a speaker hidden in da toilet or somethin', eh. Yah.

T: I'm your lonely toilet (Y: Uh?)
I need some romance, yeah (Y: Come on now.)
You rarely ever speak to me (Y: Yah.)
You talk more to your plants (Y: Uh, I'm sorry.)
You let your buddies use me (Y: Heh heh heh...)
Make you drunk and stand in line (Y: Yah, dose pigs.)
I'm tired of dealing with buttholes
All the time

Y: Hey, it's a little shimmy, you know you love me.
T: You know, the only time I get a hug...
Y: When?
T: ...is when you've drank too much, typical guy.
Y: Yah, that's when I tell you I love you.
T: You babble in your drunkenness...
Y: (babbling)
T: ...and go puking out your guts!
Y: Oh, don't remind me. Oh...
T: Farting, puking, diarrhea... Oh, the humiliation!
Y: Ohh... Yah, tell me about it, eh.

T: The only time I get a break (Y: When?)
Is when you have constipation, yeah! (Y: Ha ha ha ha ha!)

T: I'm so sick of all this crap
And dealing with buttholes too (Y: Yah, peekaboo!)
You don't know how it feels (Y: How does it feel?)
When someone craps on you (Y: Oh, come on now, you're a toilet!)
I'm so cold and lonely (Y: I'm sorry.)
This life's the bitter end (Y: Oh, hey! Come on, eh.)

T: I may be made of porcelain, but I could use a friend, you know. Hey! Hey, up there!
Y: Wha--what? I'm listenin'!
T: I need a friend!
Y: Oh, sorry.
T: Hey, would you be my-- hey, what are you doin' with that handle?!
Y: See ya later!
T: (flushes)
(Sonic SBL)
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