August 28, 2018 - 10 pm EDT (GMT -5)

Greetings to you. Tyro Arr   Consul Pious Augustus Arrgolus here. “Ancient of ancients, monster of monsters; the unkillable horror that stalked the planet for 19 centuries before your Christ walked the Earth”. Or so the living call me. But you would probably think of me as “Stavro’s great grandfather.”

I’ve hijacked Tyro’s blog to bring you the message mentioned in the title. Have you ever wondered what causes all the delays and needless cancellations of my great grandson Stavro’s shows, hmm? It isn’t always his health or the lack of it. Many times, he’s too tired or dazed by those damn cancer meds they give him to even be able to focus on a show. Or he’s trying to keep his house from falling apart. Why he can’t live in a castle like the rest of us I’ve no idea...oh, wait – it’s because he’s not a vampire. Yes, I always remember these things...eventually.

On any given Mad Music Show that my younger vampire relatives commandeer, they will often call him “Young Stavro”. But he actually looks & acts older than any of them. And, except for Tyro, who’s only 52, they’re actually many centuries older than he is. He’s only 72, but he’s more of an old man than any of us. Including me. And I’m rapidly closing on 4000.

All his non-vampiric relatives are long dead, so he has to do everything himself. He often denies this, though. He says he always has his friends with him. He calls them “Remington, Smith & Wesson.” I’ve seen no evidence of these guys. Perhaps you young people know what he means.

He’s also had chronic insomnia since the early ‘50s. He says he does his best work at 3 am, but he doesn’t really have much choice in the matter. Right now, he’s having a nap after his first visit to the supermarket in 2 months. He like to stock up as a shopping trip takes all the energy out of him, so I’m typing this instead. And he has another hospital visit soon. In short, he’s really fried.

So give the old guy some breathing room. He’ll come through with shows during the holidays and at various other times, but more often than not, he just needs some rest. Speaking of all that, I may choose to host his next show. It’s something about travel or lizards – an interesting combination. I wonder if that Dr. Demento guy ever made a show about lizards.

Annnyway, Stavro will leave the playlist & script lying around I’ll record the show. That’s right. A 3900 year old vampire will sit on an Asphalt Aardvark™ and record a show for the internet. It’ll all be...just a bit silly.