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Song Details
Rank this week: 55 (↑10)
Duration: 5:11 
Release Date: 1973  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 1005 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
  • Because of Carlin's cocaine use during the making of this album, some of the word and phrases here and there are a bit garbled or nonsensical as compared to the clarity of "Class Clown" which was recorded completely clean, or so it was said. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Fart humor became a mainstay of Carlin's act during his career, but it all began with this bit from "Occupation: Foole". (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    There are a lot of ways to imitate the fart sound. Kids find them all. Kids think farts are funny. Kids enjoy farts. Farts are funny as hell. Farts are... Farts are s**t without the mess. Look at it that way. They know they're funny and fun in the bathtub- Ahhh! b-b-b-b-b-b-b! Wasn't there a thump? Wasn't there a guy a thump who bites the bubbles in the bathtub! Ah ha ha! I remember some moronic eight year old thing like that.

    If you had short pants on and you were seated on a flat wooden chair during the summertime...Oh, man, you had to do the.. the one cheek sneak, man. Pray, pray. Please, God! Yeah, kids know they're fun. That's why they call kids a fart. Fart's a fun word, too. Fun, fart. Hey, fart. He's a cute little fart. Isn't he a cute little fart? They're always about that big, a fart. 'Cause that's about how big a fart is, right?

    Or an old fart. 'Cause old people are just bent kids, y'know? We do, we start out as children and we wind up being another form of child and it'd be nice to remember all the way through, y'know, 'bout your grandmother- "I'm just an old fart, leave me alone. I don't know anything. God love ya."

    Farting..gotta lotta weird things, some guys...depending on how people react to somebody say.."Hey! Who let go? Hey...Hey, if you're sick, go to the hospital, man!...Something died inside that bastard!...Light a match, man, wouldja?" Someone would say "It wasn't me, I always tellya, right? I always tell. Wasn't me, no." "Charlie, man. Lookit Charlie, man!"

    Your own farts always smell okay, right? "Yeah, that's not bad!" Some other guy did it, you'd be runnin' to Bensonhurst, right? If two guys are on the elevator and one guy farts, everybody knows who did it. The other guy always gets off at the mezzanine and walks down. Used to hang me out.

    Then there are things you say when a fart is farted. Some guys are not, y'know, shy at all like you're out- "Hey there, PPPTTTT! Howarya?" Funniest thing I heard you say when a fart is farted was when I was in the Air Force. Guy went PPPTTT! and I said "Captain who?" Being an enlisted man, I rather liked that. I was gonna be in military intelligence, but the words were...contradictory to one another...

    Lighting farts is another thing. Lighting farts with a match that a lot of people don't know about. See, some people know. "No kidding. Light a fart!" "Ahh, get outta here. Lighting a fart, really? Hey, ya CAN!" It's just... It's methane, it's methane. There are like, I think.. five million cubic yards of cattle farts every year. They know that because they can predict how much methane is produced by the amount of feed is consumed. Farts are a fact; farts are a way of life; farts are part of the ecology, gang!

    And why was I mentioning.. Oh yes, because kids are so instinctively, y'know, they have such fun with it and they're so free about until we finally RRRRMP! close them in and I think it's their instinctive reaction to the anal retentive attitudes and feelings of this country. Y'know, we've long had a ethic of a kind of encouraged and inside and suffering and not let go and I think Nixon is a perfect symbol for the country; he looks like he hasn't taken a s**t in a month, man! He's just not a regular guy. Every four years, he gets the runs. He's running again!
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.9 (1 vote)
    Played on 3 shows:
    09-21-19, #KMCC-14-0203-17-03, #ISGD-03-10
    08-26-13, #MMS-168
    = Show you can listen to online
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Cute Little Farts"
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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