Coffee  By: Worm Quartet

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Duration:	4:00
Release Date:	2000
Lyrics By:	Tim Crist
Music By:	Tim Crist
Produced By:	Timothy F. Crist
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Licensing:	CC
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CAFFEINATION ACTIVATION! Sitting in my cubicle Trying to pass the time Click the little envelope But no new mail's online My schedule program shows me All this crap I have to do A post-it note upon my desk says "Nobody called you" I write myself a reminder note To throw that note away I check my voice mail even though I've been sitting here all day It says "You have no messages No life no hope no friends" And You've still got seven hours 'Til this freakin’ workday ends But I can smell salvation It's brewing down the hall The percolator sings to me And I must heed its call As liquid touches styrofoam I feel the steam's sweet kiss And I know I'm just seconds away From caffeinated bliss Coffee coffee coffee To stimulate my brain Coffee coffee coffee To make me less insane I used to be a zombie And I'd fall asleep at work Now everybody knows me as The hyperactive jerk Now that I'm Chock full'o'nuts My job is just a game! I open up my phone book and I highlight every name! I bend my paper clips into The shapes of little men I search the net for Amish porn I take apart my pen I open up the three-hole punch And spill holes on the floor I fire staples ‘cross the room 'Til I don't have no more I laminate my lunch meat I link my rubber bands (Make a) Xerox of my hairy ass And fax it to Japan And when the buzz starts wearing off And when I'm feeling low I pour myself another mug My cup shall overflow Eleven packs of sugar And a couple spoons of creamer And I shall receive the gift of life From my liquid redeemer Coffee coffee coffee Come on and drink it up Coffee coffee coffee Nirvana in a cup I used to be a peon, just a worthless wad of gristle 'til I replaced by brain cells with instant Folger's crystals My boss calls me in his office He says "Now listen, you... "I have a little problem "with the crappy work you do "I never see you at your desk "So what's been going on? "Half the time you're at the coffee pot, "The rest you're in the John! "Your eyes are always bloodshed "Your hands they always shake "Your skin's the tone of dead flesh "At the bottom of a lake "We think this has to do with all “The coffee that you chug "So we’re switching you to decaf "And we’re cleaning out your mug" These words to me were blasphemy I found them just appalling So I kicked that bastard somewhere That I knew would leave him crawling Now I’m jobless homeless on the street You could say I’ve got hard luck But I’ve got a gun and now I’m gonna Go hold up a Starbucks Coffee coffee coffee With sugar and with cream Coffee coffee coffee The reason for my being I used to be so tired I'd pass out on the floor Now I haven't needed a wink of sleep Since 1994 Coffee coffee coffee It's great to have around Coffee coffee coffee I even eat the grounds I used to be a drone, Now I'll never be the same! I drink a hundred cups a day Juan Valdez knows my name (samuel_whyte)

Available on the following album:

Sumophobia

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Played on 10 shows:
	03-29-25, #KMCC - 19-16		01-24-09, #ROTP_231
	03-21-15, #15-12		02-02-08, #BR-08-04
	02-01-15, #BWR-15-02-01		08-29-04, #XM-66
	10-05-13, #MMS-174		10-13-02, #02-41
	11-13-09, #BR-09-91		03-25-01, #01-12
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