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Song Details
The Legend of PRB 
By: Insane Ian
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
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Rank this week: 37 (↑35)
Duration: 3:01 
Release Date: 10/17/2009  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Ian Bonds (peterpuck9) 
Music By:
Produced By:
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Licensing: CC 
Keywords: ALCOHOL, CONVENTIONS, DEMENTIA COMMUNITY, FUMP 
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Song Lyrics:
“The Legend of PRB” by Ian Bonds

They say Rob Balder is a mighty man
Standin’ 5 foot 10 with a pen in his hand
But he’d never hurt a flea, or a spider.

But to this author of “Partially Clips”
Somethin’ happens when alcohol touches his lips
And he becomes so much more than a web comic writer

Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
The Most Loaded Gun in the West
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahh, Party Rob

When I first met him at Balticon
He didn’t have those fuzzy ears on
And he just seemed so…unassuming

Someone said “room party”, next thing I know
His eyes lit up and his smile did glow
And he revealed a love that one could call "consuming."


Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll take six Jello Shots to the chest
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob

When I finally met Party Rob, y’see
It was just outside of the Twin Cities
After a long 30 hour bus ride

He appeared with a flourish and said with a wink
“Ladies, tighten those corsets, it’s time to drink!”
And he had a whip cream can by his side.

Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll shoot that cheese whiz off your breast
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob

Bridge (Spoken):

They say that ol’ Party Rob moved from con to con, room party to room party. In each one, he’d invent a new drink. From Candy Corn Shots to the Santa's Beard, from the Apple iDrunk to something called a Pie Fight, you’d know he was there by the drunken warbling of JoCo songs and intermittent sounds of aerosol food being dispensed onto bare female flesh. His gang, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, and Jose Cuervo ruled the con scene…and were gone by the next night.

Well Party Rob just couldn’t be stopped
And by the time they called for the cops
There wasn’t a full glass in the place

And by the next morning at the end of the con
Rob Balder was back and Party Rob was gone
But he wore the evening’s events on his face

Party Rob, Party Rob
He was hung over by that tree
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhhh Party Rob

Spoken:
Ian: Rob? You're staggering...

Rob: Well, I realize I'm attractive, but I've rarely been called Staggering...

(c) 2009 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved

Lyrics courtesy of TheFuMP.com
(peterpuck9)
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Current Rating 7.6 (2 votes)
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