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Song Details
If You Buy This CD, I Can Get This Car [Uncensored] 
By: Robert Schimmel
Play Sample:
This song is not available for free download
due to copyright or license restrictions.
Rank this week: 57 (↑31)
Duration: 2:23 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Release Date: 10/20/1998  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Robert Schimmel (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Robert Schimmel (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: William E. McEwen (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Warner Bros. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Murder, Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords: CD, DOGGY STYLE, GIRL, LAWYER, ORAL SEX, PORSCHE, TITS, UNCENSORED VERSION, WIFE 
Reviews:
Facts:
  • There is a clean version of this song on the album, which is why the title says 'uncensored'. But after hearing what the rest of the album is like...why bother? (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • During the fourth verse, Schimmel pauses for the briefest of moments after the first line of it and reacts ever so subtly as if he's clearly thinking "What the hell am I singing?" (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • According to the album itself, they pressured Schimmel into writing a song because all the comics were doing them on their albums at the time. And they were right- the songs Schimmel cites (Jeff Foxworthy's 'Redneck Stomp', Bill Engvall''s 'Here's Your Sign' and Sam Kinison's 'Wild Thing') are all here in the Archive somewhere. Before this track, he sarcastically sings a few very dirty ditties to put off the record execs for a while until he finally gives in and comes up with this. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Hey! If you buy my CD, I can get me a Porsche
    If you buy my CD, I can get me a Porsche
    If you buy my CD, I can get me a Porsche
    I really want a Porsche, so please buy my CD

    If I have me a Porsche, then I can get me a girl
    If I have me a Porsche, then I can get me a girl
    If you buy my CD, I can get me a Porsche
    and with the Porsche, I'll get the girl
    Buy my CD

    If the girl likes the Porsche, she might let me squeeze her ****
    If the girl likes the Porsche, she might let me squeeze her ****
    If you buy my CD, I can get me a Porsche
    I'll get the girl and squeeze her ****
    Buy my CD

    If she likes the way I squeeze her ****, she might suck my dick
    If she likes the way I squeeze her ****, she might suck my dick
    If you buy my CD, I'll get the Porsche and the girl
    I'll squeeze her ****; she'll suck my dick
    Buy my CD

    If I let her drive the Porsche, she'll let me f**k her doggy style
    If I let her drive the Porsche, she'll let me f**k her doggy style
    If you buy my CD, I'll have the Porsche and the girl
    I'll squeeze her ****; we'll suck and f**k
    Buy my CD

    If my wife catches me ******' the girl, she just might join in
    If my wife ca... (abruptly stop singing and says:)

    "If she catches me, she just might join in?!" What world is that gonna happen in? If my wife catches me ******' another girl doggy style, she's gonna cut my balls off and feed 'em to the dog. Then if I'm still alive, she's gonna get a lawyer and I'm gonna take it up the ass. He's gonna f**k me good. I'm gonna lose my wife, I'm gonna lose the house, I'm gonna lose the car, I'm gonna lose the Porsche, I'm not gonna have any balls, the girl's gonna split and I'm gonna be fucked!

    "Squeeze her ****, suck my dick, buy my CD"...

    What the f**k was I thinkin'?

    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 9.7 (1 vote)
    Played on 1 show:
    02-14-19, #MMS-231
    = Show you can listen to online
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "If You Buy This CD, I Can Get This Car [Uncensored]"
     
     
    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  09-08-10 01:27 AM  -  8 years ago
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    From what I've read, everything in this song eventually happened. His wife did catch him with another girl (his daughter's friend) and his wife's lawyer gave it to him in the ass. The girl also eventually divorced him. Whether he got the Porsche and did the girl doggy style will remain a mystery.
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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