Bowling Alley Idiot  By: Kobi LaCroix

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Duration:	4:26 (Kobi LaCroix)
Release Date:	8/15/2011  (DJ Particle)
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Licensing:	CC (giveme_comedy_or_give_me_death)
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I get up in the mornin', and it's the first thing on my brain the old bowling lane, it's callin' me again. When I shower, my shampoo smells like rosin and urethane Like the old bowlin' lane, the cause of all my pain. I can't hear music on the radio or the voice of my ol' lady, no the only sound I hear is crashin' pins It's a sin I can't even begin to explain my obsession with the ol' bowlin' lane Well, them bowlin' pins are callin', and I'd like to smash 'em all in the face, ooh yeah But I ain't never had the skill to make a single pin move, and where there used to be a gutter there's a mile deep groove My approach is reminiscent of a crippled hippopotamus; the balls are all too heavy, and my fingers never fit Well, I may not get better, but I'm way too dumb to quit, so all you critics can make like the 7 and the 10 and split 'Cause I'm a bowlin' alley idiot (bowlin' alley idiot) Bowlin' alley idiot, I'm out of control I become a whole new person with my digits in them holes, singin' Bowlin' alley idiot, roll, stupid, roll! Yeah! I got some oversized loafers and a brand new pair of Brunswick gloves, oh yeah I got a porn mustache, a perm, and pinstripe jumpsuit on; I look just like John Oates and Bozo's illegitimate spawn But if I wanna go professional, I gotta make 'em all see; gotta stop rollin' like I've got cerebral palsy 'Cause I'll be struttin' to the lane, and then I'll recall that in my frenzy to look fancy, I forgot to get a ball 'Cause I'm a bowlin' alley idiot (bowlin' alley idiot) Bowlin' alley idiot, I'm outta control I'm a real unholy roller, Jesus, spare my soul! 'Cause I'm a bowlin' alley idiot…Bass solo! Bass: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaass! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaass! Kobi: Wasn't that beautiful? Bass: Shut up! People say I'm a nut, that I'm stuck in a rut I got the AMF logo tattooed on my butt Well, my girl up and left, she said she's sick of me forgetting It was quarter game night, and I missed my own wedding Well, I heard that up in heaven, there's a lane the angels like where the balls have liquid centers, and the 9s count as strikes Well, I can't porve this claim, but I believe it all the same And I get down on my knees, and I pray to every god I can name Please don't let me scratch this frame Well, you best have on your riot gear whenever I step up to the lane Because the ball goes flyin' backwards every third or fourth try, sent twenty people to the hospital, but so far no-one's died Well, I tried to join a league, but I just got spurned, and then they tried to shove my head into the ball return So I told 'em tough patootie, I can still have all my fun, I'll start a union, Local Bowling Alley Idiots 401 And we're the bowling alley idiots (bowlin' alley idiot) Bowlin' alley idiots, we're out of control I got a shrine to Saint Earl Anthony on my bedroom wall 'Cause I'm a bowlin' alley idiot (Roll that stupid ball!) I'm a bowlin' alley idiot! (bowlin' alley idiot) I'm a bowlin' alley idiot! (bowlin' alley idiot) Bowlin' alley idiot! (bowlin' alley idiot) Whoo! Sing it with me, now! B-O-W-L! (bowlin' alley idiot) B-O-W-L! (you are an idiot) B-O-W-L! (bowlin' alley idiot) Idiot for life, yeah! Hey, don't leave me hangin'! Thank ya. (Kobi LaCroix)

Available on the following album:

Grapefruit Teeth: A Compendium of Industrial Dixieland Tone Poems for Fiddle and Fire Hydrant, Chapter 1: Rise of the Hyena People

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Played on 5 shows:
	03-27-12, #BWR-12-03-27		08-19-11, #ROTP_365
	10-14-11, #ROTP_373		08-19-11, #MMDT20_11-33
	09-20-11, #BWR-11-09-20
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