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Duration:
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3:44
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Release Date:
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1993 (Dave AuJus)
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Music By:
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Facts: |
The song, properly titled "The Sick Note" is claimed to be written by Pat Cooksey and is a musical version of Gerard Hoffnung's address to the Oxford Union. (Dave AuJus) |
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Song Lyrics: |
Ok, Here's a song about an Irishman who had a little bad luck. And I have been told this is a true story...
Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of me plight For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work today
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an ackward sod He'd said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.
Now shifting all those bricks by hand, it was so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.
And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Now the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head I clung on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more Still clinging tightly to the rope me body racked with pain Halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again
Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block Caused multiple contusions and a nasty state of shock Still clingling tightly to the rope I fell toward the ground And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round
As I lay there groaning on the ground I'd thought I'd passed the worst But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope For as I lay there bleeding, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel being unsecured, it started down once more And it landed right across me as I lay there on the floor It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today.
(Hatman) |
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