A Modern Man by George Carlin

Song Details

A Modern Man
By: George Carlin

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Duration:	3:54
Release Date:	2006 (Stavro Arrgolus)
Lyrics By:	George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)
Music By:	N/A (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:	George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)
Released By:	Atlantic 83892 (Stavro Arrgolus)
Published By:
Licensing:
Keywords:	COMEDY, LANGUAGE, TECHNOLOGY

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Facts:

Below lyrics word for word from the 11/5/2005 performance. (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Song Lyrics:

I'm a modern man...

I'm a modern man
A man for the millennium
Digital and smoke free

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect

I've been uplinked and downloaded
I've been inputted and outsourced
I know the upside of downsizing
I know the downside of upgrading

I'm a high tech lowlife
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond

I'm new wave but I'm old school
And my inner child is outward bound

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer
Voice activated and biodegradable

I interface from a database
And my database is in cyberspace
So I'm interactive
I'm hyperactive
And from time-to-time
I'm radioactive

Behind the eight ball
Ahead of the curve
Riding the wave
Dodging a bullet
Pushing the envelope

I'm on point
On task
On message
And off drugs
I got no need for coke and speed
I got no urge to binge and purge

I'm in the moment
On the edge
Over the top
But under the radar

A high concept
Low profile
Medium range ballistic missionary
A street-wise smart bomb
A top gun bottom feeder

I wear power ties
I tell power lies
I take power naps
I run victory laps

I'm a totally ongoing big foot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach
A raging workaholic
A working rageaholic
Out of rehab
And in denial

I got a personal trainer
A personal shopper
A personal assistant
And a personal agenda

You can't shut me up
You can't dumb me down
'Cause I'm tireless
And I'm wireless
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever
Laid back but fashion forward

Up front
Down home
Low rent
High maintenance

Super size
Long lasting
High definition
Fast acting
Oven ready
And built to last

I'm a hands on
Footloose
Knee jerk
Head case

Prematurely post-traumatic
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail

But I'm feeling
I'm caring
I'm healing
I'm sharing
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver

My output is down
But my income is up
I take a short position on the long bond
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow

I read junk mail
I eat junk food
I buy junk bonds
I watch trash sports

I'm gender specific
Capital intensive
User friendly
And lactose intolerant

I like rough sex...
I like rough sex
I like tough love
I use the f word in my email
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn

I bought a microwave at a mini mall
I bought a mini van in a mega store
I eat fast food in the slow lane

I'm toll free
Bite sized
Ready to wear
And I come in all sizes

A fully equipped
Factory authorized
Hospital tested
Clinically proven
Scientifically formulated medical miracle

I've been pre-washed
Pre-cooked
Pre-heated
Pre-screened
Pre-approved
Pre-packaged
Post-dated
Freeze-dried
Double-wrapped
Vacuum-packed
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity

I'm a rude dude
But I'm the real deal
Lean and mean
Cocked, locked and ready to rock
Rough tough and hard to bluff

I take it slow
I go with the flow
I ride with the tide
I got glide in my stride

Drivin' and movin'
Sailin' and spinnin'
Jivin' and groovin'
Wailin' and winnin'

I don't snooze
So I don't lose
I keep the pedal to the metal
And the rubber on the road

I party hearty
And lunch time is crunch time

I'm hanging in
There ain't no doubt
And I'm hanging tough
Over and out

©2006 George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)

A Modern Man--George Carlin	(View Larger)

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Current Rating 9.2 (6 votes)

Available on the following album:
Life Is Worth Losing
Contact us if you know of another album that contains this song

Played on 4 shows:
	02-15-17, #ISGD-17-07	09-09-11, #MMDT20_11-36
	01-31-15, #15-05	12-31-06, #ISGD-06-92
	= Show you can listen to online

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Messages about the song: "A Modern Man"

	Stavro Arrgolus Offline - Editor, MP3 - 06-27-08 06:35 PM - 15 years ago
	fiogf49gjkf0d Yup. That's it. This is the bit that opens the cable special, the album and his third book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?"

	MarlinsGirl Offline - Participant - 06-26-08 09:26 PM - 15 years ago
	fiogf49gjkf0d I hope this is the right bit. I found this on another forum that I go to and I thought it was brilliant. nothing to see here. Terri M.

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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.