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Song Details
Rank this week: 41 (↑17)
Duration: 3:54 
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Facts:
  • Parody of "Stairway To Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. (CZW Ref Fan Steven)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I'm in a redneck little dive
    I'll be lucky to walk out alive
    It's Saturday night in the middle of deer season

    There's a sign on the wall
    Sayin', "Rock 'n roll and have a ball"
    I hope my authentic ethnic folk songs are aesthetically pleasin'

    Here's comes some peckerhead little geek
    With tobacco in his cheek
    And he's yellin' in my face, "Hey ******, play Freebird!"

    He just finished a pint of Jack
    Mixed it with a few Prozac
    And that twitching muscle in his jaw has got me slightly worried

    His friends tell me, "He's crazy as hell"
    He just got out of jail
    His old lady's wearing a beaded halter top and her name is Grace

    She gives me a big wet sloppy kiss
    And says, "Hey man, look at this!"
    And shows me her tattoo of Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner into an unbelievable place

    So I figure, what the hell
    I'll play some tunes and all will be swell
    As I finish my first song, a bottle flies past my ear

    Someone yells, "Let's squash him flat!"
    Someone else yells, "I heerd that!"
    And I realize that evolution is still an option here

    (Look out)

    Some girl hollers, "Play Zeppelin, man!"
    Somebody else yells, "No, play Skynyrd if you can!"

    And I tell 'em, "Why don't y'all fight it out.
    Whichever side wins I'll play your tune without a doutbt."

    Suddenly it's a roller derby without wheels.
    Bottles are breakin' and teeth are flyin' and somebody squeals.
    Something knocks me to the ground.
    I'm lookin' up at Grace and Wile E. Coyote's upside down.
    She says, "If you don't wanna go out of here in a trunk
    Quit playin' metaphysical, introspecitve, existential junk."

    (Well, that's not exactly what she says, but it's pretty close.)

    And as I make it to the back door
    I say, "Hell, last night your little sister wanted more"
    -- And the whole place gets real quiet. And my rapidly shrinking boy parts tell me that's the one thing I wish they hadn't heard.

    What the hell --

    You all are the best excuse I've been told
    For legalized retroactive birth control
    Whether it's Skynyrd or Zeppelin I don't care
    I'm placing this middle finger in the air
    And inviting each and every one of you to fly this free bird.

    (Hey Grace, can you make the Roadrunner's ears wiggle one time?)


    (Backwoods)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 10.0 (1 vote)
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