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peterpuck9's Blog

Topic: Words Of Wisdom from Larry The Cable Guy (that's what the e-mail said)

 
peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  08-13-07 01:40 AM  -  18 years ago
fiogf49gjkf0d
1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Member Comments:

peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  08-15-07 02:01 PM  -  18 years ago
fiogf49gjkf0d
Some are made up on the spot and the rest are made up after months of research!

--- Sick Puppy
I have a feeling he was just making that up. After all, Terri's list had, "Approximately 97% of all statistics are made up." I suppose those numbers were made up as well?


--- peterpuck9

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Bob Guest   Offline  -  Artist  -  08-13-07 08:07 PM  -  18 years ago
fiogf49gjkf0d
I have a feeling he was just making that up. After all, Terri's list had, "Approximately 97% of all statistics are made up." I suppose those numbers were made up as well?


--- peterpuck9

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  08-13-07 01:55 AM  -  18 years ago
fiogf49gjkf0d
I'll counter that with the master of the obvious, Al Sleet, Carlin's hippie-dippie weatherman character. "Tonight's forecast: Dark! Continued mostly dark tonight, changing to widely scattered light in the morning. This is Al Sleet saying, If you don't like the weather...MOVE!"

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