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(note: I have transcribed these lyrics from an old cassette, the tape is in pretty bad shape and parts of the recording are damaged or missing, I have recalled from memory, the missing parts, except the very beginning which has always been missing.)

**** Waving and Reaching - Earle Doud & Co. ****

(the opening is missing, never had it)

Mr. Rogers:
"... today, in the neighborhood, boys and girls, because...
We've been asked to take part... In an exercise album!
And we have some very special friends..
who have dropped-into our neighborhood... To pay us a visit...

Now, I know, You must be a student, because...
I see you have... a Geometry book under your arm...

Is it...
Solid Geometry? .. or Plane?"

Tattoo:
"DA PLAAAANE!! DA PLAAAANE!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"Cute!

Well, we're glad to have you with us...
I hope you didn't get wet coming over here because..

Its a clouuudy day in the neigh-bor-hooood...

and it looks like rain!"

Tattoo:
"DA RAAAIN!! DA RAAAIN!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"Someone break his arm!"

Mr. Mouth:
"What is this dumb-dumb show?
I came here to exercise... heh-heh-heh..
Look at these hockey pucks standing around here.. heh-heh..
Hope you jump on your bike and your seat's missing!"

Mr. Rogers:
"Well, my goodness! Its 'Mr. Mouth'... the Mailman...

Mr. Mouth:
Mailman, huh? heh-heh..
what? Why don't we put a stamp on your head and...
mail-express your brain?!"

Tattoo:
"DA BRAAAIN DA BRAAAIN!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"Guess what, boys and girls...
I'm beginning to HATE my first person..."

Preacher:
"HEEEAL THAT MAN.. HEEEAL!! THERE MUST NEVER BE HATE YEYYYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

HEAL-YOUR-SOUL.. because of... YEYYAAAH!

I'm here, today, in the neighborhood to make donations and TAKE donations.. YEEAAAH! because I then love you... and I love everybody...

...and that's WHY I'm here to-DAY-YAH..

I watch your television show every DAY-YAH..

I'm gonna HEAL ya TODAY, Mr. Rogers, HEAL, HEAL, TODAY!

YEAAAAAHH!!"

Mr Mouth:
"Listen to this guy!?!
You sound like you just crawled out from under a rock at a banana convention... heh-heh... heh..
Wha-wha-Wha-WHERE are the EXERCISES?!?"

Mr. Rogers:
"Its not nice to hurt people, BALDY!"

Mr. Mouth:
"heh-heh.. Cute! heh-heh..
If you don't.. hurry up, well.. You're gonna be doing push-ups...
at Forest Lawn!"

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK...

Mr. Rogers:
"OH! ... There's someone at the door... Let's see who is is...
(click-click.. creek...)
Why, its... SHELLEY WINTERS! .. Why.. come in.. Shelley!"

Shelley Winters:
"why-a-umm... TALK SHOW?! aa-umm..
Where's the DONUTS?! ... Isn't this the CAFETERIA?!
I can't exercise until I EAT.. I gotta FEED my thighs! uhh!"

Mr. Rogers:
"Uh! ...Well.. Why don't you come in.. and.. join us?"

Shelley Winters:
"We-ell.. because I CAN'T.. er-um.. I'm TRYING to tell ya..
I'M STUCK!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"I'm afraid we're going to have to use a crane..."

Tattoo:
"DA CRAAANE!! DA CRANE!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"You know?
I hate small people...
It takes too many of them to make up a carpool!

NOW! (aerobics music starts) ...Let's exercise.. boys and girls!

Lets try a simple exercise... like 'waving good-bye'..."

Mr. Mouth:
"GOOD! GOOD! heh...
what, Why don't you do some LEG-exercises... and LEAVE?!"

Mr.Rogers:
"I won't dignify you with that answer... instead ...
(breaks into the beat/exercise)
I'll just... Huuurl... this Chinese vase... at you!"

CRASH!!

Mr. Mouth:
"heh.. heh-heh.. heh! You DUMMY!
ya, you MISSED me.. an.. and HIT the little guy! heh-heh.."

Tattoo:
"DA PAAAIN!! DA PAAAIN!!"

Mr. Mouth:
"Why don't you put a bandage on it? you dummy..."

Tattoo:
"because.. I'M VAAAIN!! I'M VAAAIN!!"

Mr. Mouth:
"ya know something? you.. you.. You gotta be crazy!"

Tattoo:
"INSAAANE!! INSAAANE!!"

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

Mr Rogers:
"There's someone ELSE at the door! ..." (click-click-creek...)

Jane Fonda:
"Hi! I'm Jane Fonda... and THIS is my LAWYER!" (ka-thunk)

Tatoo:
"ITS JAAANE!! ITS JAAANE!!"

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-
KNOCK-KNOCK

Wayne Newton:
"ah-un.. This is Wayne Newton..
and I just want to tell ya that I'm BETTER than the Beach Boys!"

Tattoo:
"ITS WAAAYNE!! ITS WAAAYNE!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"I can't take this any more.."

Tattoo:
"DA STRAAAIN!! DA STRAAAIN!!"

Mr Rogers:
"I'm LEAVING... right NOW!"

Tattoo:
"DA TRAAAIN!! DA TRAAAIN!!"

Mr. Rogers:
"I'm putting on my hat.. and my 'Mr. Coat'.. and going out 'Mr Door'... I'm going now, boys and girls... down to the sporting-goods store... to buy an automatic weapon!"

(DOOR SLAM!)

Tattoo:
"Now, for our first exercise...
We're going to touch the doorknob.. Okay?
tippy-toes UP... tippy-toes DOWN...
tippy-toes UP... tippy-toes DOWN...

You know? I gave myself a standing ovation last night...
and I didn't even know it!! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!"

(lyrics added 7-6-2016)
(DJ Zath)
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Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Played on 1 show:
02-19-84, #84-08
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