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Song Details
Rest Home Gangstas 
By: Sudden Death
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Rank this week: 17 (↓17)
Duration: 5:29 
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Licensing: CC 
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Song Lyrics:
[intro]
(Gangsta): Yeah! Real thugs nevah die! Know'-m sayin'?!
Nevah give up the life, muthafuckah! Gangstas fah life!
(Nurse): Yes, of course, Mr. Jackson.
Now it's time for your sponge bath.
(Gangsta): b***h, you holdin' out on me?!
I'll smack yo' ass into next week you don't give me what's mine!
(Nurse): Ooh, somebody's cranky. Did you miss your nap today?

[verse 1]
I'm a rough and tumble thug, slangin' drugs, I'm a hardcore
Gangsta, bangin' on my block with my buds
Pimpin' girls with big jugs, I'm that type, I sell
The big guns, but I can't wipe myself
I'm ninety-seven years old, got an artificial hip
With corrective shoes, walk with a gangsta limp
Gold chains, gold teeth, and I shine 'em till they gleam
Got gold plated knobs on my oxygen machine
Loosen up my straps when it's time to take a nap
Get a bottle of medicine and I'll bust its cap
Go full throttle down the hall where you see me in
My low-ridin' wheelchair with the twenty inch rims
Give me lip and I'll knock out your teeth, and I won't
Give 'em back till I put 'em beneath my ass crack
Chew on that for a while, and then you'll know why
We mean it when we say real G's never die

[chorus]
I get a daily sponge bath from a beautiful staff
That's the life of a retired gangsta!
I run the halls of the home like the emperor of Rome
Don't mess with a retired gangsta!
I sell pills that can beat anything on the street
That's the life of a retired gangsta!
And I don't take no flack, so just stay the hell back
Don't mess with a retired gangsta!

[break]
Yeah, b***h! You betta give me mah money!
I'll slap the I.V. outta you!

[verse 2]
I got bitches and hos lined up into rows
But it's a pity that their ******* hang down to their toes
They're just pretty little grandmas shakin' their bods
And the Parkinson's means they give the best handjobs
You can decide how she looks when she arrives
Blonde, brunette, dentures or glass eyes
All my my women have skin with a delightful texture
If you need a pacemaker though, that'll be extra
When I used to work the streets, my hos were strung up on crack
Now I give 'em all Demerol and Prozac
And if they pull out their backs, you get an extra half hour
Just be sure your ventilator doesn't run out of power
Some of the girls think they're too old to strip
But I don't wanna hear no lip 'bout you're afraid to break a hip
Just because we're in a rest home don't mean you can rest, ho
Get your ass outta that dress, work your chest, ho!
(chorus)

[bridge]
Old school playa and I have to confess that these
Biddies look pretty with their Sunday best down on the
Floor bunched around their ankles, they get
A sponge bath daily so that they don't stank
They've got more lined up in the ICU
They may not see you, but there's nothin they can't do
'Cept get over the flu, or get outta bed
So when you're thru, check her pulse to make sure she ain't dead

[verse 3]
My hos love me though, 'cause I'm quite the dynamo
Just plug in the defibrillator and away we go
We do a little foreplay with my removable teeth
So I can bite her in places other people can't reach
This is the life, no one cares if I reek
I don't even have to get out of bed to take a leak
And I never have to walk, got a motorized chair
With hydraulics and a twenty inch rim on the spare
I run everything on the second floor
From the vending machines down toward the cancer ward
And I defend what's mine with the power of my nine
Every time, and I remind 'em with a nursery rhyme
(music breaks down) Stupid mothahfuckah got in my way
Stupid mothahfuckah got shot today
All the home's doctors and all the home's nurses
Couldn't do s**t, 'cept call for some hearses
(pause)
(chorus)
(samuel_whyte)
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