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Duration: 4:17 
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Song Lyrics:
(phone rings, receiver is picked up)
Jethro: Ajax...AH-CHOO!
Customer: God bless ya.
Jethro: I don't need any outside help! Ajax Mortuary, where deadliness is next to Godliness.
Customer: H-hello?
Jethro: You keep sending 'em over and we'll keep putting 'em down. Way down. o/~ Way down upon the Swannee... o/~ AH-CHOO!
Customer: God bless ya.
Jethro: What you you, some sort of religious fanatic? What do you want, anyway?
Customer: I was lookin' for a funeral house.
Jethro: You're in like a porch climber! Ajax Mortuary's the the game!
Customer: Well, deal me in! My brother's dead!
Jethro: Beautiful! I love it! He's...he's not breathing, I hope.
Customer: Oh, heck, no. He quit doing that about a hour before he turned blue.
Jethro: MAGNIFICENT! How did he go?
Customer: Well, as near as we can figure, he got a hold of a bad batch of chili con carne.
Jethro: (shiver) That CAN be lethal.
Customer: Boy, it sure turned HIS light off, I guarantee ya.
Jethro: AH-CHOO!
Customer: God bless ya.
Jethro: Uh,...he was insured, of course...
Customer: I don't know if he had a "Piece of the Rock" or not.
Jethro: I...I realize that, at times like these, it's's a real bummer to discuss finances.
Customer: Don't worry 'bout it, partner. He's dead n' somebody's gotta pick up the "slab tab". I'll get that money if I gotta kill somebody.
Jethro: Oh! Now, you're talking!
Customer: Well, he's my brother. Y'know, I gotta stand good for 'im.
Jethro: Yes.
Customer: My whole family's that way: straight arrow. Ain't no stiffs among us, Mister, uh...
Jethro: Mister Jethro.
Customer: Oh?
Jethro: Cornelius Jethro, 93 Death Row, at your service.
Customer: (laugh) You sound like you really dig your work.
Jethro: Well, as I always say, "You don't have to smoke and drink to have fun." By the way, where IS your brother?
Customer: Ol' Arnie? I stuffed him in the freezer so he wouldn't spoil on ya.
Jethro: My, that was thoughtful of you. But he IS dead...
Customer: Oh, he's gone.
Jethro: Gone.
Customer: Gone.
Jethro: Gone!
Customer: Gone to the great chili parlor in the sky.
Jethro: o/~ All around the chili beans/In the chili con carne/'Round the rancid hamburg/POP goes ol' Arnie! o/~
Customer: (laughs) I'll tell ya, ol' Arnie, he'd've dug that!
Jethro: AH-CHOO!
Customer: Well, listen, I'm running real short on cabbage, y'know what I mean? What's the lowest you'll go? I mean, wh-what's the lowest you'll put a guy down for?
Jethro: Eighty-nine-fifty, we'll put him down. Way down. o/~ Way down South in the land of cot-... o/~ AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!
Customer: Go-God bless ya.
Jethro: What did you say?
Customer: I said, "God bless ya."
Jethro: You're not some sort of priest, are you?
Customer: No. No. Look, now, this "eighty-nine-fifty" job, how's that work? You come pick 'im up?
Jethro: Well, we have been awfully busy. Things HAVE been piling up.
Customer: Well, as stiff as that sucker is, I guess it wouldn't be no trick to balance 'im on the back of my Honda. I'll just...I'll just...I'll just tie 'im on with some bailing wire. I guess I should be able to get 'im down there before he thaws. Where're you at again?
Jethro: 93 Death Row. We'll be expecting you.
Customer: Okay.
Jethro: Thank you and good-bye. (hangs up receiver) Sebastian, drop whoever you're doing! We've got a LIVE one! AH-CHOO!
Current Rating 10.0 (2 votes)
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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