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Song Details
Nuttin' But Spam 
By: Robert Lund
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 2:30 
Release Date: 2003  ( 
Lyrics By: M. Spaff Sumsion ( 
Music By: M. Spaff Sumsion ( 
Produced By: Robert Lund ( 
Released By:
Published By:
Licensing: CC 
  • "Nuttin For Christmas" was originally done by Barry Gordon. (czwrefsteven)
  • Featured on The FUMP, 12/14/2007. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Parody of "Nuttin' for Christmas" (Tepper/Bennett) (MarlinsGirl)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I checked my box at AOL
    Somebody e-mailed me
    A chirpy voice said, "You've got mail"
    Somebody e-mailed me
    But it's all crap from herbal quacks
    Tricks for dodging income tax
    Russian nymphomaniacs
    Somebody e-mailed me

    I got a computer for Christmas
    Eight zillion M.B. of RAM
    But I'm gettin' hostile for Christmas
    'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

    I don't need loans from offshore banks
    Somebody e-mailed me
    I've never owned no septic tanks
    Somebody e-mailed me
    Old Iraq Most Wanted cards
    Kinky housewives' warm regards
    No-repayment Mastercards
    Somebody e-mailed me

    Oh, I'm gettin' freaked out for Christmas
    How do they know where I am?
    I'm gettin' ornery for Christmas
    'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

    They've got Viagra at half price
    Somebody e-mailed me
    A voodoo weight control device
    Somebody e-mailed me
    I don't need hidden camera stuff
    Donald Rumsfeld in the buff
    My kielbasa's long enough!
    Somebody e-mailed me

    Oh, I'm gettin' ticked off for Christmas
    Free pay-per-view is a scam
    And I'm gettin' angry for Christmas
    'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

    So you better back off
    Whatever you do
    If I track you down, I'm warning you
    I'll get postal for Christmas!

    © 2003+
    Current Rating 9.6 (2 votes)
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