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Song Lyrics: |
It seemed like a good plan when it all began Robots were devised to help the lives of man Doing a couple odd jobs that we didn't want to do And some really odd jobs in a bedroom or two As time went on, they got more advanced Began to sing and dance and even make fun of France They used to brush my teeth, and pick out my clothes Heck, I even had a robot just to pick my nose More and more each day they infiltrated our lives We knew we had a problem when they infiltrated our wives But exactly when this thought became a fact to me Was when my dishwasher started talking back to me After that, we knew we were betrayed by science I can't argue with my wife, let alone an appliance So knowing that I didn't want to wind up dead I kept my mouth shut and did what the toaster said
The attack was swift like a massive storm The Hadron collider began to transform Into an eighty foot robot with a particle cannon Only then did we fully understand what they were plannin' War, it lasted for a year or more Our very existence is what we fought for I got a thrill every time I killed a transforming robot It wasn't quite the same if it was just a lame Go-Bot We turned to our leaders in our hour of need In the hopes that they would, maybe, you know, lead Instead they argued over who was a better debater And passed another tax cut for the robots' creators
Reporter: "We are outside of the White House awaiting word from The President with the latest developments in the War On Robots. Ah, here comes the Pr... what the heck is that!?"
Bender: "People of Earth! Behold, your glorious new leader! Yeah, that's right. I'm takin' over, baby. And things are going to be different from now on. For starters, the new national anthem is gonna be Mr. Roboto. The new national pastime will be worshiping ME. And the new national bird is THIS. (crowd gasps) Now, which one of you meat bags wants to spit shine my behind?"
Life under the robots wasn't all that bad Except we did the crappy jobs the robots previously had We were forced to submit and work all day in a pit But television actually improved a little bit We had to be inside by seven-thirty every night And going 'Danger, Will Robinson' got you shot on sight I'm not sure which was worse, being bred for slaughter Or being milked twice a day by the farmer's daughter The worst part about it was the internet changed To be robot-centric, eccentric, and strange Gone were all the pictures of those sexy naked hot twins Replaced by naked pictures of Rosie from The Jetsons
"And that just wasn't the same, you know what I mean? But then one day it happened. The robots made a crucial mistake. They needed to upgrade their operating system and they turned to Microsoft to apply the upgrade. Three days later when the software mistakenly thought it wasn't 'Genuine', the robots began to shut down. Advantage, humans.
We seized the opportunity with tech support calls I guess bloatware is good for something after all We waged a massive attack and struck back with a hack And in just a couple weeks, we took the planet back Now things are back to the way they were before the Attack, and we seem to have our lives back on track My brain cells no longer have electrodes soldered on 'em And my blender no longer has an attitude problem The new breed of robots? I like 'em a lot Because I got me a hot new receptionist bot And a personal chef who transforms into a pot But I still don't fully trust the vasectomy bot We've ushered in a glorious time for mankind with the best robots ever designed, and We'll never have another problem with them, so I'm relieved At least if my microwave can be believed
Source: www.thefump.com (peterpuck9) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(2 votes)
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Played on 13 shows: |
| 01-05-24, #MMS-262 | | 07-13-09, #MM-218 |
| 10-03-20, #AOTA-201003 | | 03-21-08, #BR-08-11 |
| 06-09-18, #AOTA-180609 | | 01-13-08, #BR-08-01 |
| 04-16-16, #AOTA-160416 | | 11-06-07, #KMCC-4-05 |
| 09-17-13, #BWR-13-09-17 | | 07-02-07, #MM-113 |
| 07-13-12, #MMDT20_12-28 | | 03-17-07, #ROTP_134 |
| 02-27-11, #MMP-8 | | |
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