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Duration:
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5:53
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Release Date:
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1993 (Tim P. Ryan)
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Lyrics By:
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Music By:
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Produced By:
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Released By:
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Published By:
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Licensing:
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Keywords:
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DOROTHY, MALL, SHOPPING, TOTO
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Facts: |
A spoof with the characters from "The Wizard Of Oz" (Dave AuJus) |
Santa Claus learns how to use the technology of 1993. (Tim P. Ryan) |
Web pages about this song: |
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Song Lyrics: |
DOROTHY: Look Toto, there it is, the mall. Gee, it's a lot bigger than the stores back home. I'll bet they waste a lot of electricity with all those decorations. I sure hope Santa's there.
DOORMAN: Who are you?
DOROTHY: I'm Dorothy and I'm trying to find Santa's workshop.
DOORMAN: The mall is closed! Now go away!
DOROTHY: But we've come so far on the yellow snow road. My shoes got wrecked and I brought Auntie Em's gold card with me. It's got a ten thousand dollar limit...
DOORMAN: Now, now, calm down little girl. You got a gold card? Why didn't you say so? That's a card of a different color. Come on in!
CLAUS: Ho, Ho, Ho. I am the overweight and wonderful Claus. Who dares disturb my long winters nap?
DOROTHY: If you please sir, Mr. Claus, I'm Dorothy, and I want...
CLAUS: Silence! The great Claus knows why you are here. Look it's been a long day. My lap is tired and I'm outta film. Besides, I have to feed my reindeer.
DOROTHY: Hey! Who's that?
CLAUS: Pay no attention to that skinny guy behind the escalator. The one with the pillow tied around his waist. I am the overweight and wonderful... (voice changes) Claus. Oh man, am I starvin'. Uh, you got a sandwich on you?
DOROTHY: Why, you're not Santa Claus at all.
CLAUS: Well I'm afraid I am. You see Mrs. Claus put me on the Slim Fast Diet. I'm supposed to have a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly. Now all I have is shakes: one for breakfast, one for lunch, and a sensible cookie and skim milk for dinner. I hate it.
DOROTHY: But Santa, how come you're not making toys up at the North Pole? It's almost Christmas.
CLAUS: Oh, I'm out of the manufacturing business, Dorothy. I'm just a middleman now.
DOROTHY: But don't you still deliver the toys?
CLAUS: Oh yeah, guaranteed overnight delivery, absolutely, positively by 2 a.m.
DOROTHY: Well, where do you get the presents? (DOORBELL RINGS)
CLAUS: Oh, uh, hang on a second Dorothy.
DELIVERY BOY: Delivery for a Mr. Kringle. Ah, sign here please. Oh, thank you a very much.
CLAUS: Put them over there by the VCR, Okay? Thanks a lot guys.
DOROTHY: Gee, what happened to Santa's workshop?
CLAUS: You know, looking back, I should have seen it coming. Boy, I was the king of the North Pole. I wasn't afraid of nobody. I could build anything.
CLAUS AND ELVES SINGING: But then the kids got into Go-Bots Nintendo games and robots It wasn't quite the same I could make a thousand scooters But I never learned computers So the shop went down the drain
We were busy building wagons Till orders started draggin' It really was a shame The Japanese were on a mission We were blind to competition We was busy makin' trains
We thought we made it all From Barbie dolls to rubber balls But Betsy Wetsy took a fall They marked her down; she's at the mall
Oh the games are complicated That joysticks overrated It really rots your brain All the kids would be in heaven Instead of hangin' at 7-11 If they only had a train
DOROTHY: I guess Santa's workshop is gone forever. CLAUS: Oh I'm sorry, Dorothy. I wish there was somethin' I could do to help, but I gotta get busy. It's almost Christmas and I gotta put batteries in all these gameboys. DELIVERY BOY: Look, here comes someone who can help. CLAUS: How does she do that? DELIVERY BOY: Very easy, holographic projection; latest technology
DOROTHY: Oh, can you help? GOOD WITCH: Santa never needed any help; he's had the power to work at The North Pole all along. CLAUS: I do? I mean I did? I do? DOROTHY: So what should we do? Click our heals together? GOOD WITCH: Oh no, that only works in the movies. All he has to do is just hook these up. DOROTHY: Why, it's a fax machine. CLAUS: And a cellular phone with voice messaging. And look, a pager! I'm back in business. HO HO HO!
DOROTHY: Can it be true? Will the elves be making toys again?
CLAUS: They will if they move to Mexico. I can save a bundle if I do my manufacturing south of the border. And with these gizmos, I can keep track of who's naughty and who's nice from anywhere.
DOROTHY: Jimminy Christmas. Oh, no!
(Dave AuJus) |
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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