Dead Writer by Bob Rivers

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Dead Writer
By: Bob Rivers

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Parody of "Paperback Writer" by The Beatles (Dave AuJus)

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Song Lyrics:

'Hello, Salomon, baby, you got the number one book out there, darling! You got to make a public appearance. It's your agent, Lenny. Call me back.'

Dear Sir or Madam
Have you read my book
The Ayatollah saw it
And now my goose is cooked
I thought that I would win the Pulitzer Prize
But now I have seen the look in his eyes
And I'm a dead writer
Oh God I'm a dead writer
Oh no.
I beg forgiveness
I won't do it again
I promise not to pick up another pen
I'll be as quiet as a little mouse
Just take that hit squad away from my house
I don't want to be a dead writer
Oh no I don't want to be a dead writer
I'm a dead writer
He's a dead writer
Oh no, please

'Salomon, baby, how are we supposed to move product if you're not in the stores to sign autographs? There's people waiting to hear from ya'

I cannot make any public appearances, I'm very sorry

'They're all in dressed in' They're all dressed in black robes, and they're waiting to hear from you darling.'

'I can't. I've got writer's cramp or writer's block'I cannot ' No, I cannot be there, sorry. Please'Sorry, sorry, sorry.'

(Dave AuJus)

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