If I Only Had A Spine (unbleeped) by Bob Rivers

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If I Only Had A Spine (unbleeped)
By: Bob Rivers

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Parody of "If I Only Had A Brain" from The Wizard Of Oz (Dave AuJus)

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And now's here NFL Commissioner, Paul Tagliabu

What's the one thing that makes a great NFL Commissioner? Courage. And what's' the one thing that I ain't got? Courage

Football teams would not be leavin'
The fans would not be grievin'
The league would be just fine
They would stay in their fair cities
Instead of treating you so shitty
If I only had a spine

Oh the fans they took a beating
The owners had some meetings
They signed that dotted line
Now the Oilers Hawks and Brow-ens
Want to play in other tow-ens
Cuz I didn't have a spine

We thought the teams would stay
The NFL would save the day
But the owners said NO WAY
They took those teams and moved away

Pete Rozell was such a legend
Hey Tagliabu quit your hedgin'
I just can't make the call
Oh the teams they won't be stayin'
And my rules they'd be obeyin'
But I just don't have the balls

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry, Cleveland. I'm sorry, Houston. I'm sorry, Seattle.

Build us a Buffalo Dome
Build us a Buffalo Dome
We'll follow follow follow follow
Follow the stadium dough

Yeah follow the stadium dough
Follow the stadium dough
Follow the stadium dough,
We'll move all 30 teams to Los Angeles. We'll make a fortune!

We're off to another city
To build us a luxury box
Ken Berring is a scummy scuz
If ever a scuz there was

If ever if ever a lizard there was
An NFL Owner is one because
Because because because because because
Because of the slippery things he does
We're off to another city to build us a luxury box

(Dave AuJus)

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