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Duration: 4:24 
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The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursin' home floor
He'd been wankin' an' fell out of his chair,
An' as he fell on his guts, his colostun he bust
splatterin' muck an guck an s**t everywhere

It was all up the wall; on the matron an' all
It was caked on her apron an' hair,
And as we ducked for cover, that filthy old bugger just sat there with his c**k in his hand...

Ah, it couldn't ave been a worse day 'cos it was his birthday
with the rellies rallied all round his bed,
Absolutely amazed that he'd actually made another birthday 'cos he should have been dead

With all that ******' an fightin' that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago
By any number of blokes whose missus he's poked with that monster he was strokin' there now

(Chorus)
Ah, grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Somebody better get Nana in quick
We'd promised her we'd phone
He's OD'd on Viagra
CALL GRANDMOTHER UP ON THE PHONE
Grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone

But he just wouldn't stop wankin', so we chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see
his battered banana hangin' out his pyjamas and the *** stain an' s**t on his sheets

But that filthy old bastard sat cackling laughin', just waving his slug in the air
And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time
'EVERYBODY GET THE f**k OUT OF HERE!'

(Chorus)
(Stavro Arrgolus)
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Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Played on 2 shows:
02-14-19, #MMS-23106-08-13, #MMS-162
= Show you can listen to online
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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