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| Facts: |
| Parody of "These Dreams" by Heart. (peterpuck9) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
THESE JEANS
(Parody of “These Dreams” by Heart)
Spare some of your candy
Save a bite for me
My derriere expands
Exponentially
My skin, it stretches
As I jump and roll and twist
But my full moon still hangs over
These jeans that won’t fit
I say it’s water weight
Insist it’s nothing more
But maybe it’s from eating
Cheese Snax by the score
The only things I think of
Are nuts and chips and dip
And all my new clothes
Are from the plus-size store
These jeans go on! I tell myself such lies
Every French fry that I eat
Expands my widening thighs
I plead for help,
but still have tooo much pride
Yet the zipper just won’t zip;
‘cause of my rhino hips
I plan to exercise
But seldom get the urge
I’m half-bulemic,
‘cause I binge, but never purge
Pizza on my sweater
Chocolate in my mitt
Time for an elastic waistband
and a relaxed fit
These jeans go on, but I must grease my thighs
Every second I regret the times I super-sized
My undies show although they are low-rise
When I suck in all my gut,
I still have too much butt
There’s junk food out there
I can’t resist
I need to hide away all I’ve gained
There’s junk food out there
I can’t resist
The sweetest sound is when the
zipper meets my waist My circulation’s cut off
From my feet to face
In a daze, flushed and panting
Out from my room I slip
But the sound I just heard
Was an ominous rip
These jeans go on, when I grease my thighs
Every donut that I eat, I add another size
My beam is broad from devouring pies
I should exercise today
I want another way
These jeans go on (I tell myself such lies)
South Beach, Atkins, Jenny Craig
I’ll give them all a try
No please, I researched; you know what I spied?
My insurance covers me, for weight-loss surgery (etc.)
©2007 Bob Emmet
Lyrics courtesy of TheFuMP.com
(peterpuck9) |
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Current Rating
9.4
(5 votes)
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| Played on 12 shows: |
 | 11-24-22, #D101_221124 | | 06-15-08, #MMS-114 |
| 10-06-17, #WOTR_53 | | 06-14-08, #ROTP_199 |
| 09-11-10, #MMCZ-10-37 |  | 05-11-08, #08-19 |
| 11-12-09, #BR-09-90 | | 05-10-08, #MMCZ_08-19 |
| 05-19-09, #KMCC_5-17 | | 04-28-08, #MM-155 |
| 03-07-09, #ROTP_237 | | 04-25-08, #MMDT20_08-16 |
| = Show you can listen to online |
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