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Song Details
These Jeans 
By: Project Sisyphus
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 4:22 
Release Date: 2007  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Parody Lyrics by Bob Emmet (peterpuck9) 
Music By: Parody Lyrics by Bob Emmet (peterpuck9) 
Produced By: Bob Emmet (peterpuck9) 
Released By: (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
Licensing: CC 
  • Parody of "These Dreams" by Heart. (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    (Parody of “These Dreams” by Heart)

    Spare some of your candy
    Save a bite for me
    My derriere expands

    My skin, it stretches
    As I jump and roll and twist
    But my full moon still hangs over
    These jeans that won’t fit

    I say it’s water weight
    Insist it’s nothing more
    But maybe it’s from eating
    Cheese Snax by the score
    The only things I think of
    Are nuts and chips and dip
    And all my new clothes
    Are from the plus-size store

    These jeans go on! I tell myself such lies
    Every French fry that I eat
    Expands my widening thighs
    I plead for help,
    but still have tooo much pride
    Yet the zipper just won’t zip;
    ‘cause of my rhino hips

    I plan to exercise
    But seldom get the urge
    I’m half-bulemic,
    ‘cause I binge, but never purge
    Pizza on my sweater
    Chocolate in my mitt
    Time for an elastic waistband
    and a relaxed fit

    These jeans go on, but I must grease my thighs
    Every second I regret the times I super-sized
    My undies show although they are low-rise
    When I suck in all my gut,
    I still have too much butt

    There’s junk food out there
    I can’t resist
    I need to hide away all I’ve gained
    There’s junk food out there
    I can’t resist

    The sweetest sound is when the
    zipper meets my waist My circulation’s cut off
    From my feet to face
    In a daze, flushed and panting
    Out from my room I slip
    But the sound I just heard
    Was an ominous rip

    These jeans go on, when I grease my thighs
    Every donut that I eat, I add another size
    My beam is broad from devouring pies
    I should exercise today
    I want another way

    These jeans go on (I tell myself such lies)
    South Beach, Atkins, Jenny Craig
    I’ll give them all a try
    No please, I researched; you know what I spied?
    My insurance covers me, for weight-loss surgery (etc.)

    ©2007 Bob Emmet

    Lyrics courtesy of
    Current Rating 9.4 (5 votes)
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