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Song Details
By: Sudden Death
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 3:42 
Release Date: 12/28/2007  (Tim P. Ryan) 
Lyrics By: Tom Rockwell (M_Robertcop) 
Music By: Thom Uliasz (M_Robertcop) 
Produced By:
Released By: FIDIM Interactive, LLC (M_Robertcop) 
Published By: FIDIM Publishing (M_Robertcop) 
Licensing: CC 
  • Background vocals: Thom Uliasz, Carrie Dahlby (M_Robertcop)
  • Parody of "Stronger" by Kanye West. (CZW Ref Fan Steven)
  • Song Lyrics:
    (Harder, wider, longer, fatter
    Who says that size doesn't matter?)

    Na-na now I want to thrill you
    But there is something wrong-a
    The problem is in my pants now
    I need to be quite a bit longer
    I keep on having these nightmares
    That we're getting our freak on-a
    But then when I take my pants off
    You get up and hit the gong-a
    ... I cry and ask God why
    ... I'm hung like a horse fly

    (Pump it harder, make it wider
    Pull it fatter, stretch it longer,
    All these products promise results
    An extra inch is never enough)

    [verse 1]
    Just for get it man, that's what I hear when I
    Remove my pants, girls don't want a guy
    Whose thing is an innie, often described as a
    Nano or a Mini, I thought it was fine
    Back when I was five, but twenty years later
    It's still the same size, my junk
    It has no flair, it kinda looks like
    A third nipple down there, everyone who sees it
    Is surprised, I think they cut too much when I was
    Circumcised, in case I forgot to
    Mention, most girls don't want a guy
    With extensions, so go ahead get it wet
    Watch it shrink more, all the way up inside
    And out the back door, act like it don't give you
    The creepies, and look like a Good 'N Plenty
    And BBs, dammit!

    [verse 2]
    I don't know if you've seen those ads
    Or not, if you get these emails
    Or not, they must know me 'cause I get 'em
    A lot, I figure what the hell why not give it
    A shot, 'cause right now above my bed hangs a mirror
    That says objects are longer than they appear
    So I ordered up a box of MegaStack
    They promise three inches or my money
    Back, and I got this weird gadget
    That says it'll stretch it like magic
    And got a pump but I don't know where the case went
    Well I can always use it in my basement
    Maybe something will work and some coy chick
    Will actually play with my joystick
    Uh, hopefully my thing will get
    (harder, wider, longer, fatter)

    So you wanna know how long, huh?
    It's kinda like a kernel of corn, yup
    Or kinda like a rose's thorn, yup
    So don't tell me I didn't warn ya

    So you wanna know how long, huh?

    It's kinda like a kernel of corn, yup
    Same size as when I was born, yup
    But it's OK for Hobbit porn, yup

    Uh, hopefully my thing will get
    (harder, wider, longer, fatter)
    Current Rating 7.5 (4 votes)
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