Your Children Aren't Special by Bill Hicks

Song Details

Your Children Aren't Special

By: Bill Hicks

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Rank this week: 10 (↑23)

Duration:	3:13
Release Date:	1997 (Stavro Arrgolus)
Lyrics By:	Bill Hicks (Stavro Arrgolus)
Music By:	N/A (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:	Kevin Booth (Stavro Arrgolus)
Released By:	Rykodisc (Stavro Arrgolus)
Published By:	©Arizona Bay Production Company (Stavro Arrgolus)
Licensing:
Keywords:	CHILDREN, SPERM, UNDERWEAR

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Song Lyrics:

I don't know with all the margaritas we buy we can afford a child, honey. And I'll go you one further. And this is the one, folks...this is the idea that has made me virtually an anonymous figure in America for the last sixteen years. I have watched my crowds dwindle and am going nowhere quick.

If you have children here tonight and I assume some of you do...I am sorry to tell you this. They are not special. Oh, wait, wait wait. Hold on. Let's don't have any- wait, wait wait. Don't misunderstand me. I know a lotta y'all- "Whut? Whyyyyyy?" No wait wait. Let's be clear on this. I know you think they're special. Hahahaha! I'm aware of that. I'm just tryin' to tellya...they're not. Hahahahaha! D'ju know that every time a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? Did you know that? 200 million sperm. And you mean to tell me you think your child is special? Because one out of 200 million sperm- that load. We're talkin' one load...connected. Gee, what are the ******' odds?

200..you know what that means? I have wiped entire civilizations off of my chest...with a grey gym sock! That is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel...maybe even Gidea! That is special and I want you to think about that you two egg carryin' beings out there with that holier than thou "We have the gift of life"...attitude. I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping! BOOM! A Milky Way shoots into my jockey shorts! Ohhhhwa! What's for ******' breakfast? (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Current Rating 9.5 (1 vote)

Available on the following album:
Rant In E-Minor
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Played on 1 show:
	11-12-19, #MMS-232
	= Show you can listen to online

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