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Song Details
Duration: 3:46 
Release Date: 1/29/2009  (Tim P. Ryan) 
Lyrics By: Steve Martin (Tim P. Ryan) 
Music By: Steve Martin (Tim P. Ryan) 
Produced By: John McEuen (Tim P. Ryan) 
Released By: 40 Productions (Tim P. Ryan) 
Published By:
If you like Bluegrass, buy the album (CD or download). If you want just this one comedy song, buy the song as a single download.- Tim P. Ryan
  • From Steve's 2009 CD The Crow: New Songs for the 5-String Banjo. A 15 song collection 45 years in the making. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Woke up this mornin,
    Clock said I was late for school,
    Teacher told me "that's not cool"
    Gotta put my shirt and pants on,
    Flew down the front stair,
    Wet my fingers and slicked my hair,
    Elbowed grandma passing by,
    Her face went into a pie.

    If I'm late there's misery,
    I won't be up on history,
    I'll be in the English grammar slammer,
    And I'll get a C.
    Got a warning last semester,
    Told my mom and that depressed her,
    Promised dad I won't be late, so gotta accelerate,
    Let's go!

    Ran out the front door,
    Moving like a meteor,
    I sped across the front lawn quickly,
    Missed the bus, my shoelace tripped me,
    Rounded the corner,
    Homework flying as I go,
    Neighbor shouted "tally ho!"
    And gave a standing O.

    Lept across three lawn flamingos,
    Waved to Sal, (he's Filipino)
    Jumped the fence,
    And found that I was headed toward a pool.
    In the air I did look funny,
    On tv I'd make some money,
    Waved my arms and legs like mad
    To alter where I'd land, WHOO!

    Aimed for the rubber boat,
    Hit instead the kiddie float.
    I began to lose control,
    I'm so glad I learned to log roll.
    Jumped onto the diving board,
    Bounced off it then headed toward,
    A jungle gym,
    I bounced just right and caught onto a kite.
    WHOA! -I'm flying)

    I'm so high, I see the school,
    8AM, that's the rule!
    Flying slowly, time is marking,
    Down below the dogs are barking,
    I feel like I'm sailing,
    But uh-oh, the wind is failing,
    Now I'm headed downward, groundward,
    Clownward to the school.

    On the football field I crashed,
    50-yard line, perfect smash,
    Grabbed my books and so begins
    My frantic final dash.
    Down the hall I ricochet,
    Trophy cases in the way,
    The other kids are all in class,
    I wish that I were they, WHOA!

    I see the clock hands with delight,
    8AM exactly right!
    I pull a handle with a fight,
    The door is locked and that's not right
    There's not a person here today,
    Is everybody out to play?
    Now I'm thinking and it's sinking in,
    It's saturday!
    OHH! I could have stayed in bed!

    I'm out the school gate
    Wish that I could aviate,
    Or possibly evaporate,
    I'll be home and back in bed soon,
    My dad is waiting
    "what the heck were you up to,
    Let's go fishing,
    My oh my, your grandma's face is in a pie"

    This is really something,
    I'm with dad and fish are jumping,
    Mom gave me a new alarm
    To set for monday morn.
    Never wanna be late for school'
    Never wanna be the classroom fool,
    I'd be in the English grammar, slammer,
    And I'll get a D!
    Now my feet are doing dances,
    HIP HOORAY for second chances!
    I'm not late and life is great, it's time to celebrate, WHOA!
    Current Rating 9.4 (4 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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