We Are The Vikings  By: Kobi LaCroix

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Duration:	3:27
Release Date:	9/21/2010  (DJ Particle)
Lyrics By:	Kobi LaCroix (Stavro Arrgolus)
Music By:	Kobi LaCroix (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
Licensing:	CC (Stavro Arrgolus)
Keywords:

Reviews:
There has been a lacking of really good demented Viking songs, until now. Good job Kobi!	- Dave AuJus
Of all the 'new dementia' that I've heard of late (as in 'all of 2010'), this one's my favorite. And not just because of its Pythonesque references. It also gets the "Valhalla Guitar" sound just right. He even managed to work 'nipples' in there. This is the sort of song you could get away with performing on one of the more playful late night talk shows and no one would think it out of place. ....and THAT'S the criteria this site's editor uses when contemplating these things?!? Lame! No, seriously. Great tune.	- Stavro Arrgolus

Facts:

defenestration: The act of throwing someone out of a window. In case you were wondering. (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Song Lyrics:

In the vast and frozen country of the free and the brave Where the women smell of moose fat, and the men never shave Where swinging battle axes are what cause the wind to blow And a quick defenestration is just how we say hello We warriors of virtue, battle hardened and austere Humiliate all challengers with punishments severe We'll chop you up and use your tongue to scrub our cattle stalls We're needlessly sadistic brutes, or so we have been called We are the Vikings! We plunder and we pillage to our liking We're coming to your town, so spread the news We live to fight and never lose We only use name brand shampoos Vikings for the win! With tools of steel we forge in molten hot volcanic rock We make orthopedic footwear and repair cuckoo clocks Our summers are a balmy minus ninety nine degrees When we swagger through the woods, our nipples knock down all the trees We're veterans of the theater; we put on quite a show We've added gory battle scenes to Waiting for Godot And the men whose lives we spare know well our generosity Our swords provide free gender reassignment surgery We are the Vikings! Sometimes we put on dresses and go hiking Our opponents we shall frighten and beguile With our uncanny sense of style We love ballet and Oscar Wilde Vikings for the win! One thousand and one million years ago, Fenris the terrible wolf god – and I mean terrible as in huge and frightening, not terrible as in he's not good at anything. I mean, he's good at being huge and frightening – Surly Vikings: GET ON WITH IT!!! Kobi: Okay, well he drank from the boiling hot spring of Bockfjorden, and then proceeded to urinate in the sacred white snows of Svalbard. From those golden snow crystals emerged the warriors we know today as the– (music abruptly stops) Hey, what's going on here? (Kobi receives a note. There are unfolding sounds) "Dear sir, quit screwing around with our legends, or else face repercussions." Repercussions? What do they mean by reper– (Sound of swords being drawn) …Oh. Oookay, let's just skip to the third verse, then. On a standard Friday evening, when there isn't much to do We put on some Marvin Gaye and do it dressed as caribou Then we all have appletinis and we braid each other's hair It's an ancient, proud tradition like our sexy underwear We are the Vikings! The punch at every party we'll be spiking We are a mighty army to be feared Though we may dress a little weird And may have lipstick on our beards We are the Vikings! We wrestle in the nude; it looks quite striking Through history, our blades will rend and carve We feast and leave the weak to starve I've got a man-crush on Brett Favre Vikings for the win! Vikings for the win! Vikings for the win! Rar ee vaw durr durr! Foor dee schkueur dee dee! Ard dee barr da– (music abruptly stops again) …Aww. (Stavro Arrgolus)

Available on the following albums:
The FuMP, Volume 24	Grapefruit Teeth: A Compendium of Industrial Dixieland Tone Poems for Fiddle and Fire Hydrant, Chapter 1: Rise of the Hyena People
Contact us if you know of another album that contains this song

Played on 42 shows:
	06-03-23, #WOTR_PPC		01-30-11, #MMP-5
	10-03-16, #WOTR_15		01-28-11, #MMDT20_11-04
	02-01-16, #MMP-36		01-21-11, #MMDT20_11-03
	01-23-15, #MMDT20_15-04		01-14-11, #MMDT20_11-02
	09-30-14, #BWR-14-09-30		01-07-11, #MMDT20_11-01
	01-21-14, #MMP-27		12-31-10, #MMDT20_10-FY
	01-21-14, #BWR-14-01-21		12-31-10, #MMDT20_10-53
	01-13-14, #MM-344		12-24-10, #MMDT20_10-52
	10-09-12, #BWR-12-10-09		12-10-10, #MMDT20_10-50
	09-25-12, #BWR-09-25		12-03-10, #MMDT20_10-49
	07-07-12, #AOTA-120707		11-26-10, #MMDT20_10-48
	01-07-12, #MMP-10		11-19-10, #MMDT20_10-47
	12-31-11, #MMDT20_11-FY		11-13-10, #10-46
	09-30-11, #ROTP_371		11-12-10, #MMDT20_10-46
	07-04-11, #MMDT20_11-HY		11-05-10, #ROTP_324
	05-13-11, #ROTP_351		11-05-10, #MMDT20_10-45
	03-04-11, #MMDT20_11-09		10-29-10, #MMDT20_10-44
	02-25-11, #MMDT20_11-08		10-22-10, #MMDT20_10-43
	02-18-11, #MMDT20_11-07		10-15-10, #MMDT20_10-42
	02-11-11, #MMDT20_11-06		10-01-10, #MMDT20_10-40
	02-04-11, #MMDT20_11-05		09-24-10, #ROTP_318
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