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Song Details
We Are The Vikings 
By: Kobi LaCroix
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 3:27 
Release Date: 9/21/2010  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Kobi LaCroix (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Kobi LaCroix (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
Licensing: CC (Stavro Arrgolus) 
There has been a lacking of really good demented Viking songs, until now. Good job Kobi!- Dave AuJus
Of all the 'new dementia' that I've heard of late (as in 'all of 2010'), this one's my favorite. And not just because of its Pythonesque references. It also gets the "Valhalla Guitar" sound just right. He even managed to work 'nipples' in there. This is the sort of song you could get away with performing on one of the more playful late night talk shows and no one would think it out of place. ....and THAT'S the criteria this site's editor uses when contemplating these things?!? Lame!
No, seriously. Great tune.
- Stavro Arrgolus
  • defenestration: The act of throwing someone out of a window. In case you were wondering. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    In the vast and frozen country of the free and the brave
    Where the women smell of moose fat, and the men never shave
    Where swinging battle axes are what cause the wind to blow
    And a quick defenestration is just how we say hello
    We warriors of virtue, battle hardened and austere
    Humiliate all challengers with punishments severe
    We'll chop you up and use your tongue to scrub our cattle stalls
    We're needlessly sadistic brutes, or so we have been called

    We are the Vikings!
    We plunder and we pillage to our liking
    We're coming to your town, so spread the news
    We live to fight and never lose
    We only use name brand shampoos
    Vikings for the win!

    With tools of steel we forge in molten hot volcanic rock
    We make orthopedic footwear and repair cuckoo clocks
    Our summers are a balmy minus ninety nine degrees
    When we swagger through the woods, our nipples knock down all the trees
    We're veterans of the theater; we put on quite a show
    We've added gory battle scenes to Waiting for Godot
    And the men whose lives we spare know well our generosity
    Our swords provide free gender reassignment surgery

    We are the Vikings!
    Sometimes we put on dresses and go hiking
    Our opponents we shall frighten and beguile
    With our uncanny sense of style
    We love ballet and Oscar Wilde
    Vikings for the win!

    One thousand and one million years ago, Fenris the terrible wolf god – and I mean terrible as in huge and frightening, not terrible as in he's not good at anything. I mean, he's good at being huge and frightening –

    Surly Vikings: GET ON WITH IT!!!

    Kobi: Okay, well he drank from the boiling hot spring of Bockfjorden, and then proceeded to urinate in the sacred white snows of Svalbard. From those golden snow crystals emerged the warriors we know today as the–

    (music abruptly stops)

    Hey, what's going on here?

    (Kobi receives a note. There are unfolding sounds)

    "Dear sir, quit screwing around with our legends, or else face repercussions." Repercussions? What do they mean by reper–

    (Sound of swords being drawn)

    …Oh. Oookay, let's just skip to the third verse, then.

    On a standard Friday evening, when there isn't much to do
    We put on some Marvin Gaye and do it dressed as caribou
    Then we all have appletinis and we braid each other's hair
    It's an ancient, proud tradition like our sexy underwear

    We are the Vikings!
    The punch at every party we'll be spiking
    We are a mighty army to be feared
    Though we may dress a little weird
    And may have lipstick on our beards
    We are the Vikings!
    We wrestle in the nude; it looks quite striking
    Through history, our blades will rend and carve
    We feast and leave the weak to starve
    I've got a man-crush on Brett Favre
    Vikings for the win!
    Vikings for the win!

    Vikings for the win!
    Rar ee vaw durr durr!
    Foor dee schkueur dee dee!
    Ard dee barr da–

    (music abruptly stops again)

    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.5 (3 votes)
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