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Duration:
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6:21
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Release Date:
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10/18/2015
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Lyrics By:
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Mary Schmich (original), Kiffa Kitmouse/Sedge Hare (parody)
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Music By:
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Nigel Swanston/Tim Cox (kiffa_kitmouse)
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Produced By:
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Sedge Hare (kiffa_kitmouse)
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Released By:
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Published By:
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Licensing:
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Keywords:
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BAZ LUHRMANN, DRAMA ARMADA, FURRY, PARODY
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| Facts: |
| Two versions of this song were uploaded to FurAffinity in the fall of 2015. The full-length version ended with a fake ad for IMVU, a chat platform that had bought FurAffinity earlier in the year. The fake ad was made to sound as if IMVU, which some users feared would introduce more intrusive ads to the site, had begun inserting ads directly into user uploads. (kiffa_kitmouse) |
| Aimed at furries, this song is constructed as a tongue-in-cheek "dos and don'ts" list for newcomers to the fandom. (kiffa_kitmouse) |
| Parody of "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)", as credited to Baz Luhrmann. (kiffa_kitmouse) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
Ladies and gentlemen of the furry fandom: wear deodorant. If I could offer you only one tip for personal hygiene, deodorant would be it. You would think that the social benefits of deodorant would be self-evident, but if you've even been in a crowded elevator at a furry con... yikes. Anyway, the rest of my advice, my own meandering experience, blah blah blah. I will dispense this advice... now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your fursona. Hm, never mind; the power and beauty of your fursona are an illusion. It isn't really you, it's never going to be you... but hey, at least you can show people how amazing you would look, if only you looked completely different than you actually look.
You are not as fat as you imagine-- but you're close.
Don't worry about the fandom. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to improve the fandom's image by going on "Dr. Phil". The real troubles in the fandom are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind-- the kind that show up to your party uninvited, find the bedroom where your cat is hiding out, and try to get a little too 'friendly' with it.
Don't be reckless with other people's fursuits. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
It doesn't matter what team you're on. Sometimes you're the pitcher, sometimes you're the catcher. The game is long... and you just lost it.
Remember the positive comments you receive, forget the negative ones. If you succeed in doing this, you are probably not a furry.
Save your old chat logs, delete your old drunk tweets.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting furs I know didn't know at 20 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 30-year-olds I know still don't. Wait... what? You're 40? What the hell happened?
Be kind to your sphincter. You'll miss it when it's gone.
Maybe you'll marry (you probably won't), maybe you'll have children (you probably shouldn't), maybe you'll get catfished, maybe you'll end up in a polyamorous relationship with a German diaper-fur and a Meeko plush. Whatever you do, chances are your parents will still end up wondering where they went wrong.
Enjoy that present you ordered from Bad Dragon, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you don't have any glowsticks.
Read the Acceptable Upload Policy, even if you don't follow it.
Do not spend too much time on your smart phone, it will only make you look dumb.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll kick you out of their basement.
Be nice to convention staff. They don't get paid, and they work harder than you think. Unless you think they work kind of hard, in which case, you're right.
Understand that friends come and go, but there'll always be that one guy you can't get rid of, no matter what you do.
Work hard to bridge the gaps between you and Pittsburgh, because the longer you're in the fandom, the more you'll feel the need to let everyone know just how many goddamn Anthrocons you've been to.
Visit the Yerf Historical Archive once, but leave before it makes you soft. Visit inkbunny.net once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Shower.
Accept certain inalienable truths: commission prices will rise, website administrators will mismanage, and you too will become a greymuzzle. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, commission prices were reasonable, website administrators were responsible, and noobs respected their greymuzzles.
Respect your greymuzzles.
Be wise with how you spend your free time. Maybe you'll play the stock market, maybe you'll spend all day on FurAffinity... but you never know when either one might crash.
Don't change your fursona too often, or by the time you've figured out who you are, no one else will be able to.
Be careful of whose furry song parodies you listen to, but take pity on those who record them. Song parodies are a way of taking the hard work that someone else has done, doing a fraction of that work yourself, and then taking credit for being a comedic and musical genius.
But trust me on the deodorant. (kiffa_kitmouse) |
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Current Rating
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(0 votes)
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Enter a New Message
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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