"We're Bringing The War Back Home!" From Babes In Khaki  By: Firesign Theatre

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Duration:
Release Date:	1969  (Stavro Arrgolus)
Lyrics By:	Firesign Theatre
Music By:	Firesign Theatre (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:	Cyrus Faryar (Stavro Arrgolus)
Released By:	Columbia (Stavro Arrgolus)
Published By:	Espeseth Music Music Music (Stavro Arrgolus)
Licensing:	ASCAP (Stavro Arrgolus)
Keywords:	FIRESIGN THEATRE, JAMES JOYCE, ORIGINAL VERSION, TV, ULYSSES, WORLD WAR II

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Facts:

Final sequence from the stream of consciousness that is side 1 of the Firesign Theatre album "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All" (Columbia, 1969). (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Song Lyrics:

SOUND: Distant piano music, airplanes, shelling. MORRIE [Off]: I'll see what I can do, Sgt. [coming on] Lurlene? Honey ... ? LURLENE: Morrie, please don't come in now. I ... MORRIE: Why've ya got the lights out in here, baby? I gotta talk to you! LURLENE: Morrie ... MORRIE: Honey, look-this is serious! You've got to go out there and give yourself to those men! LURLENE: I can't face those boys. Not now. Not yet ... MORRIE: Tomorrow ain't comin' for a lot of those boys, Lurlene. LURLENE: But, Morrie, they're all wearing Bill's face! [Sobs] MORRIE: Honey, we've all got our ... will ya please put that stuff down, please! What would Bill think? Excuse me-look, honey, if it wasn't for those millions of Boogies out there, the President of these United States would be named Shicklegruber! Baby, excuse me for saying it, but ever since Anzio you've been acting like a spoiled ... SOUND: Knocking at door. MORRIE: I'll get it. SOUND: Door opens. BABE: Telegram fo' you, Miss DiAngelo! ... Oh, uh-I'm sorry-I didn't know ... This is for you, Ma'am ... LURLENE: Thank you, son. just a minute, boy! Come here ... BABE: Yes? LURLENE: Where are you from? BABE: Nairobi, Ma'am. Isn't everybody? LURLENE: This is for you. [Kisses him] BABE: Why! Thank you, Ma'am! I Just want you to know, all the boys-we be for a waitin' fo' you out there! God bless ya', Miss Lu'lene! [Exits] Geor.. MORRIE: Lemme see that telegram, will ya? Honey, that's from Washington, D.C.! LURLENE: Oh, Morrie, I...my mascara is running. Will you read it for me? MORRIE: All right. Sit down, Lurlene, this may be rough. The president of the United States...is named Schicklegruber! LURLENE: I'm going out there, Morrie! Help me into this parachute! MORRIE: No, no, honey! You can't go out there! It's too late! LURLENE: Zip me up! It's never too late, Morrie! I'm going out there, because ...I'm Bringing The War Back Home! SOUND: Cuts to a giant amphitheater, crowd stamping and cheering MC: Awright, boys! Awright! Quiet down now! Here she is, that lovely piece of cake we've all been waiting for, Miss Lillie LaMont! LURLENE [Singing]: "We're bringing the war back home, Where it ought to have been before! We'll kill all the bees and spiders and flies, And we won't play in iceboxes lying on their sides! We'll wash our hands after wee-wee, And if we're a girl, before! And we'll march, march, march, et cetera! 'Til we never do march no more! (All together now, boys!) We're bringing the war back home, Where it ought to have been before! The pretty donut girl on the corner Will be smilin' with a wringer in her hair! We'll wash our hands after wee-wee, And if we're a girl, before! And we'll march, march, march, et cetera! 'Till we don't have to march no more! (Hum along now) SOUND: Crowd humming under. NARRATOR: We'd like to express our appreciation to the United States Marines, The British Commonwealth Occupation Forces, the French Legumes, and the Hong Kong Fireworks Company, without whom all of this would not have been necessary! LURLENE: [singing]: "We won't have to March! We won't have to March! We won't have to March no more!" SOUND: Movie finale music, followed by TV signature theme. ANNOUNCER: You've been watching "Babes in Khaki" on the Late Late Show for a Saturday night. Stay tuned for the Early Bird Theatre, when George Matetsky meets Danger in the form of a beautiful woman in "Luck..." SOUND: The Click! of TV changing channels, followed by white noise, another Click! and organ music. PREACHER: ...nointed with oil on troubled waters? Oh, Heavenly Grid, help us bear up thy Standard, our Chevron flashing bright across the Gulf of Compromise, standing Humble on the Rich Field of Mobile American Thinking? Here in this Shell we call Life... SOUND: Click! SPORTSCASTER: ...Angels 3, Devils... SOUND: Click! White noise. Another Click! MOVIE OSIRIS: Odysseus! Odysseus! MOVIE ODYSSEUS: My friend! MOVIE OSIRIS: What has happened to your nos- SOUND: Click! White noise. Another Click! GUEST: ...well, you got people jumping out of 'em, and you got water dropping out of 'em-you really are-you know-using your heli ... SOUND: Click! White noise. Another Click! SWINE: ...OK, Swami, or whatever your name is, we'll be back with this Christ Consciousness racket in just a minute. SWAMI: No, no, Mr. Swine. It's Krishna Consciousness. You see, to our peop... SOUND: Click! White noise. Another Click! Movie background of car driving on busy street. NICK: ...hate cops, Guido! I'll always hate cops! GUIDO: Yeah, Nick! I hate cops too! PAOLO: Yeah! Me too! NICK: I'll tell you guys what I'm gonna do! I'll tell ya' what! I'm gonna get even with every rotten cop in this city! PAOLO: Yeah! Me too! GUIDO: How ya gonna do it, Nick? How ya gonna do it? NICK: You know what I'm gonna do? GUIDO: No, no, Nick! Whatcha gonna do? NICK: I'm gonna...turn in my badge. GUIDO: Yeah, yeah! PAOLO: Yeah! Yeah! GUIDO: Yeah! I'm gonna burn my uniform! SOUND: Cuts to commercial background. RALPH: Hiya, friends! Ralph Spoilsport, owner and operator of the world's biggest dealership west of Baalbeck. As you know, we're overdosed again with all tastes and kilos. Let's just take a look at some of these fabulous lids! The LaGuardia Report says this key should be copped for ten thousand, five hundred dollars, in easy monthly sentences of a year-to-life, and nobody down. Our complete price to you, including sticks and stems and seeds, wine-soaked and sugar-cured, completely clean for your smoking pleasure, the complete price-only what the traffic will allow, in unmarked bills, delivered to me, Ralph Icebag, in a plain brown wrapper, by a brown-shoed square in the dead of night! Let's take a taste of this fabulous Yucatan Blue, scored to you from the sky-blue waters of that beautiful Mexican bay, hand-picked by naked little froggy native boys in their tight leather aprons, running through the fields by the sea and the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the fig trees in the Alameda gardens yes yes and all the ***** little streets and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rose gardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a boy where I was a flower of the mountains yes where I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used yes and how she kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and she asked me would I to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew her down to me so I could feel her breasts all perfumed yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will yes ... yes ... yes ... yes ... [fading] Yes-s-s-s-s ... (Stavro Arrgolus)

Available on the following album:

How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All?

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