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Song Details
Duration: 4:00 
Release Date: 2020  (Halfshell) 
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  • Dementia is in the lyrics (Halfshell)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I just got a spouse; we bought a f***ing house
    In unincorporated Snohomish county
    Guess I’ll settle down, suburbanize, sell out
    Slip off my college gown and be a townie
    This land is f***ing gorgeous, I love this f***ing lawn
    Surrounded on all sides by thirty feet of hedge
    Which I’ve gotta trim

    Where did my weekend go? I just don’t f***ing know
    I just went out my door to do some yard work
    The next thing that I see, the sky turned black on me
    All these gorgeous plants are f***ing hard work
    How do these f***ing yuppies own these f***ing lawns
    There’s just got to be a better way

    When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
    There’s just one thing that you can do
    Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
    Show those plants the one in charge is you
    With a hedge trimmer

    Can you believe my hedge? It’s got a perfect edge
    I’m outside with my trimmer every morning
    The neighbors look my way, and glower as they say
    “You really could have given me some warning”
    In yard work I am baptized, my soul is cleansed anew
    Mazel tov, today I am a man

    When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
    There’s just one thing that you can do
    Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
    Return your masculinity to you
    With a hedge trimmer

    I ain’t got no HOA (so I gotta trim my f***ing hedge)
    Got a 20-foot driveway (so I gotta trim my f***ing hedge)
    Neighbors come by every day and then critique my hedge on Facebook

    I just looked out my door - no neighbors anymore
    And winding down the street, a trail of bodies
    I heard a piercing yell, just like a hound from hell
    My yard was overrun by f***ing zombies
    And in that very moment, I knew what I must do
    I went to the garage and found my friend

    When you’re seeing zombies creeping through your neighborhood
    There’s just one thing that you can do
    Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
    And keep your brains inside of you
    With a hedge trimmer
    (Halfshell)
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    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
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