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Song Details
Duration: 3:32 
Release Date: 1992  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: James/Miller/Hammer/Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: James/Miller/Hammer/Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Scotti Bros. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Stone City Music/Jobete Music (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #390597247 
  • Parody of "U Can't Touch This" by (MC) Hammer which itself was sampled from "Super Freak" by Rick James (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I can't watch this. I can't watch this
    I can't watch this. I can't watch this

    My my my my TV makes me so bored
    Makes me say, oh my Lord
    What is this garbage here?
    Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
    It sucks, and that's no lie
    It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
    Lowers my IQ one notch
    And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

    I told you homeboy... I can't watch this
    Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know...
    I can't watch this
    Poke out my eyes, man... I can't watch this
    Yo, gimme that remote control... I can't watch this

    Talkin' 'bout sick shows
    There's America's Funniest Home Videos
    I can't believe my eyes
    When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
    Somebody's poor old mom
    Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
    Face first on a rake
    I hear they've got it on the 17th take
    That's funny as a kick in the crotch
    And that kind of show, uh, I can't watch

    Yo, I told you... I can't watch this
    Change the channel now, man... I can't watch this
    Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker... I can't watch this

    Cosby Show and Rosanne
    Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
    Judge Wapner, oh my
    You gotta be Rain Man to like this guy
    Thirtysomething is alright
    If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
    Can't stand Twin Peaks
    Wish they'd lynch those donun-eatin' freaks
    Those Siskel & Ebert bums
    Oughta go home and sit on their thumbs

    That's word because you know... I can't watch this
    I can't watch this
    Break it down!

    Here's how to order -
    Money back guarantee -
    Removes tough stains fast -
    It tastes more like fresh peanuts -
    They keep going and going -
    Don't hate me because I'm beautiful -
    Could be dandruff -
    Our prices are insaaaane!!!

    Stop! Prime Time!
    I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
    If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
    Or that guy with the real flat hair
    That goes "woof woof woof" and waves his fist in the air
    Or those weird talk shows
    About Transsexual Nazi Eskimos
    They're rude, crude and vile
    Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

    Flip, flip, flip...
    Ewww, I can't watch this
    Look man... I can't watch this
    I can't take this torture no more, I can't...
    I can't watch this
    Pay the bills, station break
    Break it down!

    Operators are standing by -
    Cubic zirconium necklace -
    You're soaking in it -
    And our fabulous swimsuit issue -
    When you've got a headache this big -
    Read the book -
    This is your brain on drugs -
    I've fallen and I can't get up!!

    Stop! Cable Time!
    HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
    I might like 'em more after my lobotomy
    Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
    I hooked up 80 channels and each one stunk
    Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
    It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away

    I can't watch this. I can't watch this
    I can't watch this. Yeah... I can't watch this
    I told you... can't watch this
    Too hip, can't watch this
    Get me outta here... can't watch this
    (Sonic SBL)
    Current Rating 9.4 (2 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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