Number One by Ookla the Mok

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Number One
By: Ookla the Mok

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Song Lyrics:

I am a gambler
I am Fortune's son
I am the first mate of the NCC-1701D
Well, I had an encounter at Farpoint Station
With a little touch of constipation
While I was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived, I got this feeling inside
That there was something that I needed to do
And it's true
That when I got to my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to p**s in
But I was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
And so I flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know

CHORUS:
I asked the ship's computer
I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise
I've been here seven days
And I can't wait anymore
Pretty soon, I'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before
I can't sit down, I'm in some condition
How'd Kirk survive on a five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
'Cause I ain't feeling so great and I'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure
And now I've gained twenty pounds and I grew a beard
How could I shave without a bathroom mirror?
If I don't get some relief, I'm gonna split my skin
'Cause I'm as round as a globe and if I don't launch a probe
Soon I'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin

CHORUS
(I B Emerson)

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Current Rating 4.7 (1 vote)

Available on the following album:
Less Than Art Ten-Year Anniversary Edition
Contact us if you know of another album that contains this song

Played on 2 shows:
	03-01-15, #BWR-15-03-01	03-01-98, #98-09
	= Show you can listen to online

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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.