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| Song Lyrics: |
My name is Frodo...but, then, you knew that.
Hell, there's Hobbit books in every dorm from Pepperdine to Yale.
I'll bet you smoked some dope, and then you read one.
And now you've come to Frodo Baggins to hear my side of the tale.
Have you no mercy after the crap that Tolkein said?
"One ring to rule them all"? I'd like to wring his neck instead!
But I will tell the tale, since every one of them is dead;
Those nine brave riders out to fight the Old Dark Lord of Mordor.
Fourteen Afteryule, in the Shire.
It's day's end at the Bag End and we're all half in the bag.
Then in walks Gandalf, that hack magician.
But for once he hasn't come to drink; instead, he's come to nag.
"There's this dark lord," he says, "who wants the ring that's in your room.
So all you've got to do is melt it in the Mount of Doom."
"The Mount of WHAT?!?" I says, but before I can resume,
I'm leading nine brave riders toward the Old Dark Lord of Mordor.
(Let's see...) There was Merry, and Sam, and Pippin.
With those Chia Pets beside me, I was rightfully afraid.
With pals like Boromir, Gandalf, and Gimli,
Is it really any wonder that the none of us got laid?
But we packed our bags and headed out to Minas Trith.
Met the Gollum, who talks like Yoda with a lisp.
Rode thorough Tudor and Fordor...I thought Hatchback might be next!
We nine brave riders out to fight the Old Dark Lord of Mordor.
Saw the Castle...I'd seen bigger.
Then we stormed the Gates of Mordor and we beat that creep Sauron.
Now I've had my say...if you want details,
Then put down your $14.95 at Amazon.com.
And what am I now? A two-foot troll with thinning hair.
Gave up my magic ring, though I doubt anyone would care.
But back in Middle Earth, I was one of them, I swear;
Those nine brave riders out to fight the Old Dark Lord of Mordor.
Those nine brave riders out to fight the Old Mordorian Lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ord. (ChrisWolvie) |
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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