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| Facts: |
| This sketch is featured in Episode 39 of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" TV show. (peterpuck9) |
| From the album, "The Monty Python Matching Tie and Hankerchief". (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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| Song Lyrics: |
Prince: My congratulations, Wilde. Your latest play is a great success. The whole of London's talking about you.
Oscar: There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
(There follows fifteen seconds of restrained and sycophantic laughter.)
Prince: Very, very witty ... very, very witty.
Whistler: There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty.
(Fifteen more seconds of the same.)
Oscar: I wish I had said that.
Whistler: You will, Oscar, you will. (more laughter)
Oscar: Your Majesty, have you met James McNeill Whistler?
Prince: Yes, we've played squash together.
Oscar: There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself. (silence) I wish I hadn't said that.
Whistler: You did, Oscar, you did. (a little laughter)
Prince: You really must forgive me, Wilde, I've got to get back up the Palace.
Oscar: Your Majesty is like a big jam doughnut with cream on the top.
Prince: I beg your pardon?
Oscar: Um ... It was one of Whistler's.
Whistler: I never said that.
Oscar: You did, James, you did.
(The Prince of Wales stares expectantly at Whistler.)
Whistler: ... Well, Your Highness, what I meant was that, like a doughnut, um, your arrival gives us pleasure and your departure only makes us hungry for more. (laughter) Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's p**s.
Prince: What?
Whistler: It was one of Wilde's. One of Wilde's.
Oscar: It sodding was not! It was Shaw!
Shaw: I ... I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.
Prince: (accepting the compliment) Oh.
Oscar: (to Whistler) Right. Right? (to Prince) Your Majesty is like a dose of clap.
Whistler: Before you arrive -- before you arrive is pleasure, and after is a pain in the dong.
Prince: What?
Oscar: and Whistler One of Shaw's, one of Shaw's.
Shaw: You bastards. Um ... what I meant, Your Majesty, what I meant ...
Oscar: We've got him, Jim.
Whistler: Come on, Shaw-y.
Oscar: Come on, Shaw-y.
Shaw: I merely meant ...
Oscar: Come on, Shaw-y.
Whistler: Let's have a bit of wit, then, man.
Oscar Come on, Shaw-y.
Shaw: (blows a raspberry)
(The Prince shakes Shaw's hand. Laughter all round.) (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
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