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Song Details
Duration: 2:48 
Release Date: 1976  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By: Beechwood Music Corporation (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI  #1298939 
  • May include some of the live on KMET 11/11/1979 playings where the distinction was not noted. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Now, let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria
    It's got all the others beat
    It sells over four million burgers a year
    Just think, that's almost two pounds of meat

    My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm
    But my burrito is much too cold
    You know a school cafeteria is the only place
    That sells artificially colored mold

    You know a school cafeteria believes in mass production
    They buy those lousy soy beans by the keg
    I don't like to complain, but in a school cafeteria
    You can buy a taco and get Bubonic Plague

    Today in the school cafeteria
    They introduced a brand new malt
    It's called boysenberry dysentery
    Please pass the salt

    The tunafish sandwiches'll make you ill
    The enchiladas are enough to kill
    Before you eat, you'd better make out your will
    In the school cafeteria today

    After sixty-three years in the business
    Our cook still hasn't got The Knack
    And all the food in the school cafeteria
    Comes from CARE packages that were sent back

    Feel your arteries growing hard
    As you eat another healthy spoonful of lard

    It's no matter that the food is so gross
    The health department is afraid to come close
    So everybody better hold your nose
    In the school cafeteria today

    So listen very closely, all you girls and guys
    Here's a little message to the wise
    You'd better not try the chili surprise
    In the school cafeteria today, oh yeah
    In the school cafeteria today
    (Sonic SBL)
    Current Rating 8.8 (5 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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