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Rank this week: 44 (↓5)
Duration: 4:00 
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Song Lyrics:
(Pope played by John Cleese; Michelangelo by Jonathan Lynn)

Michelangelo: 'Evening, Your Grace.

Pope: 'Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this 'Last Supper' of yours.

Michelangelo: Oh yes?

Pope: I'm not happy with it.

Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took hours.

Pope: Not happy at all!

Michelangelo: Do the jellies worry you? No, they add a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know - you don't like the kangaroo.

Pope: ...What kangaroo?

Michelangelo: I'll alter it, no sweat.

Pope: I never saw a kangaroo!

Michelangelo: Well, it's right at the back, but I'll paint it out, no problem. I'll make him into a disciple.

Pope: Ah!

Michelangelo: All right now?

Pope: That's the problem.

Michelangelo: What is?

Pope: The disciples.

Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.

Pope: No, no - it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.

Michelangelo: Well, another one would hardly notice, then. So I'll make the kangaroo into a disciple...

Pope: No!

Michelangelo: ...All right, all right...we'll lose the kangaroo altogether - I don't mind, I was never completely happy with it...

Pope: That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples.

Michelangelo: ...Too many?

Pope: Well, of course it's too many!

Michelangelo: Well, in a way, but I wanted to give the impression of a huge know, a real Last Supper - not just any old supper, but a proper final treat...a real mother of a blow-out...

Pope: There were only twelve disciples at the Last Supper.

Michelangelo: Well, supposing some of the others happened to drop by?

Pope: There were only twelve disciples altogether.

Michelangelo: Well, maybe they'd invited some friends?

Pope: There were the twelve disciples and Our Lord at the Last Supper. The Bible clearly says so!

Michelangelo: No friends?

Pope: No friends.

Michelangelo: Waiters?

Pope: No!

Michelangelo: Cabaret?

Pope: No!!

Michelangelo: But you see, I like them. They fill out the canvas. I mean, I suppose we could lose three or four of them, you know, make them...

Pope: (loudly, ex cathedra) There were only twelve disci...

Michelangelo: I've got it, I've got it! We'll call it...'The Penultimate Supper'.

Pope: What?

Michelangelo: There must have been one. I mean, if there was a last one, there must have been one before that, right?

Pope: Yes, but...

Michelangelo: Right, so this is the 'Penultimate Supper'. The Bible doesn't say how many people were at that, does it.

Pope: Er, no, but...

Michelangelo: Well, there you are.

Pope: Look!! the Last Supper is a significant event in the life of Our Lord. The Penultimate Supper was not...even if they had a conjurer and a steel band. Now I commissioned a Last Supper from you, and a Last Supper I want!

Michelangelo: Yes, but look...

Pope: With twelve disciples and one Christ!

Michelangelo: ...ONE!?!

Pope: Yes - one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with THREE CHRISTS in it?!?

Michelangelo: It works, mate!!

Pope: It does not work!

Michelangelo: It does, it looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones!

Pope: (brooking no argument) There was only one Saviour ...

Michelangelo: I know that, everyone knows that, but what about a bit of artistic licence?

Pope: (bellowing) One Redeemer!!

Michelangelo: (shouting back) I'll tell you what you want, want a bloody photographer, not a creative artist with some imagination!!

Pope: I'll tell you what I want - I want a Last Supper, with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!!

Michelangelo: Bloody fascist!!

Pope: Look, I'm the bloody Pope!! I may not know much about art, but I know what I like!!!!
Current Rating 10.0 (2 votes)
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