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Duration:
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6:11
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| Facts: |
| Parody of "The Smoke-Off" by Shel Silverstein. (peterpuck9) |
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| Song Lyrics: |
In a laid back section of Heaven
Where the writers of Doggerel dwell
There was a poetry hack named Suzi Sweetverse
Perhaps you knew her well
She wrote with a style to make everyone smile
Her verse was never terse or mean
The angels would attest her stuff was best...
Then along came Silverstein
Shel was looking around; he hadn't quite found
His afterlife home; he must decide
Would it be neater do go with Saint Peter
Or go "south" where it's hot to reside?
Should he dwell in Heaven or Hell?
He was lost in contemplation
But his reverie stopped temporarily
By a gold-embossed invitation
It said, "Greetings! You're challenged to a meeting
Of minds to see which is best!
Who will fall in a winner-take-all
Suzie Sweetverse's versus your verses contest?!"
He pondered this for a moment
And in a shrewd palabar, our Shel
Said he'd be glad to meet if he got a suite
At the Heaven Hilton Hotel
The die was cast; the date was set
They rented the Moon for the show
*LIVE IN THE SEA OF TRANQUILITY*
Where Neil headlined 30 years ago
All the angels were thrilled and soon they filled
The craters and sat on moon rocks
And there, looking "ova" the crowd, was Jehovah;
He had His own private box
Then the sky turned red as a feeling of dread
Fell over the multitudes
With style and panache and cameras' flash
In came the Underword celebrity dudes
There were killers and liars, atheists and friars
And men who sold used cars
Despots and kings, men who had flings,
Politicians and movie stars
Bottom-feeders, Playboy readers,
Crooks that'll shark a loan,
A Boy Named Sue and every group you can view
o/~ On the Cover of the Rolling Stone o/~
Pacifist, fighters, political writers
Even a cartoonist or two
One line reached as far as the furthest star...
The lawyers...yeah, you knew.
A bright spotlight cut the lunar night
And the crowd let out a roar
As their eyes fell on Suzi and Shel
Prepared to rhyme on that crater floor
Old Methuselah, he was the referee
And he gave them this advice:
"You can rhyme any word but, once it's heard,
You cannot rhyme it twice!
"I'm telling you two, each rhyme must be new;
One never used before
If you're a fool and break this rule,
You get a zero score!"
Both contestants agreed the rules they would heed
And then, with a mighty grin,
Methuselah faced the crowd and shout out loud,
"LET THE RHYMING BEGIN!"
Suzi jumped ahead with "Roses are Red";
Her first point was automatic
Shel exclaimed, "Girl, that's so lame!
Have you no Light In the Attic?"
Then Uncle Shelby, easy as A-B-Z,
Made a poem to beat the bland.
He got a standing ovation for his oration
About the Bendable Foldable
Easily moldable
Buy-what you're-soldable
Washable Mendable
Highly Dependable
Buyable Saleable
Always available
Bounceable Shakeable
Almost unbreakable
Twistable Turnable Man
Suzi bounced back with a poem about flowers
And how they smell so sweet
But when Shel said, "Maybe, Someone Ate the Baby,"
The crowd jumped to its feet!
Suzi's poems were clawing and oh so "annow-ying";
And Shel's were all from left field
But, eye-to-eye, the score stayed tied
And both refused to yield
They rhymed every word in English;
Every word Funk and Wagnall knew
They rhymed in Chinese and Portuguese
And the dark dialect of Poo-ga-roo
They rhymed in Greek, in Apache and Creek
And in Latin - both Pig and Classic
They proceeded on through the lexicon
Of languages back to Jurassic
In the twenty-sixth millineum since the begin-neum
Suzi and Shel were haggard and weak
Shel had completed a limerick quite heated
In the lost tribal tounge of Mozambique
Then all words did stop...you could hear a pin drop...
The only sound was the astral clock's chime
Methuselah said, "Friends, this is where it all ends;
There are no words left to rhyme!"
"No more words?!" Suzi screamed. "After all this work,
This contest ends in a draw?!?"
Methuselah said, "Yes! That is, unless,
you can rhyme a NEW word! It's the law!"
Then Shel shook his head; he smiled and he said,
"I think that this is fine.
A tie for a guy for a real good try
Or my name ain't Silver-....stein!"
The crowd jumped up and a cheer erupted
And Methuselah declared Shel the winner
And Suzi protested, "I can't have been bested!
You cheated, you Silverstein sinner!"
Shel was ready to go, then a bright golden glow
Revealed the Big Cheese of all Creation
God asked Shel to stay in Heaven that day
And make poems his eternal vocation
He said, "The sidewalks are gold; you'll never grow old
And on clouds you'll happily reside.
I hope that you stay...and that's all that I'll stay.
It's up to you to decide."
Things are quiet in that section of Heaven;
Shel decided to go with his friends
Yes, Shel now dwells down in Hell
Down Where the Sidewalk Ends. (ChrisWolvie) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(1 vote)
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Enter a New Message
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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