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Song Details
Release Date: 1998  (peterpuck9) 
Lyrics By: Tom Rockwell (peterpuck9) 
Music By: Tom Rockwell (peterpuck9) 
Produced By: Tom Rockwell (peterpuck9) 
Released By: FIDIM Interactive (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
Licensing: CC 
  • Appears on the album "Unplugged" available from (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    At home, Friday night, and I'm checkin' out the Playboy Channel
    But it might be too much for me to handle
    ‘Cause I start to drool as she's gettin' undressed
    I see a beautiful woman with a speed bump on her chest
    Yo, what the hell, who's idea was that
    Those things look defective, she should take ‘em back
    I'm sick of it, this ain't what I paid for at all
    If I wanted fake breasts, I would have bought a Barbie doll
    Why would a woman do something that drastic
    Lookin' like a mannequin, rigid and plastic
    Don't deny it, that's a design
    Of the ACME Inflatable Bustline
    To the untrained eye, yo, they may look fine
    But to a pervert like me, yo, they're easy to find
    I can pick out the point where the breast begins
    Like she's hiding two basketballs under her skin
    Big or small, it doesn't matter at all
    As long as they're not made from a silicon ball
    Fake breasts don't bounce, don't move, don't try
    So you'd better be careful, you might lose an eye
    Eighty-four, twenty-four, thirty-four, please, no more
    They're so big, they don't fit out the door
    Artificially implanted sex appeal
    I'm givin' new meaning to the phrase “get real”
    (“Do you like boobs a lot?”) More than you know
    But I don't like pizza made of play-dough
    Are those things real? My, oh, my
    Or did an animal crawl up your shirt and die
    How much did you pay for what we see
    Did it come with a thirty year warranty
    Did you have the choice of size, shape and design
    You made your points, I just made mine
    Current Rating 10.0 (1 vote)
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