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Song Details
Duration: 4:01 
Release Date: 1981  (Tim P. Ryan) 
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Facts:
  • Was made available in both 4 minute and 7 minute versions. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Midnight Saturday, sat in the dark
    watching the ceiling falling apart
    The air-conditioner's been busted for weeks
    so the smell of cooking seeps through the floor
    I can't eat no more

    They want me to be as light as a feather
    so the Doctor's wired my jaws together
    Now I'm locked in the bedroom away from the food
    so I lie on my back in the dark in the nude
    I can't eat no more
    I got to use a straw

    But if the Devil dragged me down to the kitchen
    I wouldn't put up a fight
    I'd gladly sign away my soul
    for a T-bone steak tonight

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack

    Gimme sausage, egg and beans and chips
    milkshakes, clambakes, fondue & dips
    and sauces, horses, 17 courses
    of barbequed beef with asparagus tips
    rashers of bacon, bagels and lox
    and tandoori prawns and a box of chocs
    spaghetti with mussels, palma hams
    & deep frozen waffles with syrup & jams

    My willpower's gone I'm down on my knees
    praying to the God of cottage cheese
    it's no good trying I'll never beat it
    `cos if it moves I'll eat it
    So undo my trousers, let out the slack
    who cares it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack

    My father was a gents outfitter
    my mother went crazy, they had to commit her
    they used to tell me; don't be a quitter
    but I know deep down, I'm the runt of the litter
    I can't eat no more
    I gotta use a straw

    How do you take an overdose
    or even pretend to do it
    when the last straw is the one in your mouth
    and you can't suck sleepers through it
    I can't eat no more
    I gotta use a straw

    But if the Devil took me to Mexico
    to taste his guacamole
    I'd gladly sign my name in blood
    and give him the keys to my soul
    because I can't eat no more
    I can't eat no more

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack

    Midnight Sunday asleep on the floor
    curled up in the corner can't take no more
    Armies of food invade my sleep
    led by lasagnas ten inches deep
    My head is pounding; my heart is beating
    cows are mooing; sheep are bleating
    I'm being haunted by all the meat I've eaten

    and then a burglar alarm goes off in my head
    and I wake up screaming am I dead or alive
    and the clock says five
    it's only five in the morning
    I'm covered in sweat
    am I hungry? you bet!

    Cold turkey's what I'm going through
    cold turkey's what I need
    but they hung a sign on my appetite
    saying "Danger Do Not Feed"
    I can't eat no more
    I got to use a straw
    I can't eat no more
    I can't eat no more

    And they've even taken away
    the pictures of food I had on my wall
    and my treasured collection of menus
    they screwed up into a ball
    in front of my face they flicked it
    out of the window into the night
    but they'll never unscramble the combination
    they'll never get it right
    now if they made a feature film
    that featured only food
    I'd wallow in the crowd scenes
    while the rest of the audience booed
    and if I got myself a video
    I could satisfy the need
    I could check out the action frame by frame
    and watch the calories breed
    but I can't eat no more
    I got to use a straw
    I can't eat no more
    I can't eat no more
    I got to use a straw

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack

    I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
    I gotta eat, I gotta eat a Flapjack
    a stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack
    just call me Jack Kerouac
    click-clack open up the hatchback
    I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack
    pattacake, pattacake Big Mac
    good God it's a snack attack
    it's a snack attack
    (I B Emerson)
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    Current Rating 10.0 (2 votes)
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