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HalfBee's Blog
Topic: You Now CAN Tuna Fish
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fiogf49gjkf0d The whistle goes off and the bass gather near
Each one hungry and shows up with good cheer
And when they grow to good size
Catching them easily is the prize
However why music doesn't work isn't clear
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Member Comments:
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fiogf49gjkf0d I know..... In spite of what I actually said, I was only trying to fan the flames.... and it worked.
I think it's too late for that.
Terri M.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Sick Puppy-- Okay.... Before we get completely carried away with aquatic puns
I think it's too late for that.
Terri M.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Oh, my Cod! I sea you guys wanted to trout flexing your pun mussels. That gills me. I octopus the panic button. I swordfish I knew the porpoise of all this. If I work it out, it'll be a mackerel. But I don't skink I give a clam.
Well, that post worked the last time we did all this seahorsing around.
Of course, you have to find the fish first...
"If you think you know (where it is), don't keep it to yourself -
yell out so that all the cinema can hear."
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fiogf49gjkf0d It certainly sounded like salmon chanted evening...
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fiogf49gjkf0d Okay.... Before we get completely carried away with aquatic puns, I'll just go right to the source and quote that master punster, Bennett Cerf..... Just for the halibut.
The prettiest she'fish in the whole aquarium was Bess Porgy. Young John Haddock's gills fluttered with suppressed poisson every time she, and her chubby friend Mazie Angelfish slithered down the pike. To kipper in comfort was his consuming obsession.
Trouble loomed, however, when the two girls worked out a sister act and opened at the Globe under the management of Salmon & Schuster. An interested member of the audience was Rufus Goldfish, who sat in the second roe (he was slightly hard of herring) and viewed the performance with a sardinic smile. "Confidentially," he told a grouper friends later, "the girls' act smelt, but they're pretty cute tricks. I found the one who was barracuda."
John Haddock's sole shriveled at these words. "Only an act of cod will keep my Bess out of his clutches," he muttered shadly. Mazie Angelfish tried to rally him. "Don't be blue," she counseled. "You are no common weakfish You are a Haddock. Remember Dorothy Vernon of Haddock Hall. Get in there and put that bass sailfish old flounder t'rout!"
John squarred what passes for shoulders in a fish. "Thanks, Mazie," he spluttered. "By gum and bivalve, I'll get out of this pickerel yet. If that shrimp expects to mackerel have me to reckon with!"
Suiting the action to the words, he knocked his rival off his perch so effishently that poor Mr. Goldfish whaled for the carps... and a sturgeon to get the bones out of his mouth.
"I did it on porpoise," cried the exultant John Haddock, clasping Bess, who looked prettier than Marlin Dietrich, to his slippery chest.
It was all such a shark to Mr. Goldfish that he's been eel to this very day.
The Haddocks had a tarpon time of it ever after.
FINNY
Bennett Cerf's Treasury Of Atrocious Puns.... 1968
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fiogf49gjkf0d You can keep that tuna looking as good as new if you polish it with a little fish oil.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Of course you can tuna fish..... That's why they have scales.
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