A Few of My Resolutions (Redux)  By: Robert Lund & Spaff

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Duration:	2:05 (Captain Wayne)
Release Date:	1/2/2026  (Captain Wayne)
Lyrics By:	M. Spaff Sumsion
Music By:	Robert Lund (Captain Wayne)
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Licensing:	CC (Captain Wayne)
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Give to the homeless and love all my neighbors Don't blow my paychecks at 31 Flavors Pay down my credit cards, firm up my buns These are a few of my resolutions Send get-well cards to the girls that I've dated Pose in my G-string in Sports Illustrated Start whacking pickle balls, stop sniffing glue These are the things I'm resolving to do Make my intelligence less artificial Stop mooning armed immigration officials Sweep all the majors in miniature golf These are the things that I hereby resolf Make them D size Fake a peace prize Eat a carnivore And if I don't get this all done the first day I've still got three sixty-four! Now sing along, Von Trapps, or I'll make you do the Lonely Goatherd! Capture the throne of the New World Disorder Patent my glued-on athletic supporter Find a new soulmate I don't tip with ones These are a few of my resolutions Open a Hooters in Vatican City Disband my Kiddies for Diddy Committee Burn off my RFK Jr. tattoo These are the things I'm resolving to do Master ******** Drink less Red Bull With my Everclear And if I give up by the end of this month I'll try it again next year! (Captain Wayne)

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