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| Facts: |
Just to be a bit anal about this... for everyone in America not familiar with the British term, "juggernaut" is the British equivalent of "big rig". Or it was in the '70s, anyway. He's not singing about that "X-Men" villain.
Also, "Alsatian" is British for "German Shepherd". (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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| Song Lyrics: |
(chorus, shouted:)
TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!
TELL LAURA I NEED HER!
TELL LAURA NOT TO CRY
MY LOVE FOR HER WILL NEVER DIE!
Ladies and gentlemen, I wanna tell ya...
Oh, yes, Laura and I were lovers for a long time
ladies and gentlemen
'Til God took her away for a special purpose of His very own
I must admit I was a bit cheesed off at the time
I had a special purpose in mind myself
But there you go.
Oh, sure, we'd lovers tiffs like anybody else
Like the time, in a moment of weakness, I...sunk
And I bought a dirty magazine
And in that magazine, ladies and gentlemen
I read about erogenous zones
In a very sly way, ladies and gentlemen
I invited Laura over to my place, ostensibly for coffee and cookies
And we were sitting on the sofa
And we were necking, ladies and gentlemen, necking
And I guess I must have touched one of her erogenous zones
ladies and gentlemen, 'cause she kneed me in one of mine
(chorus)
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I can't tell ya...
How could I ever forget that day God took Laura away
for a special purpose of His own?
We were downtown shopping for Laura's mum
She wanted some rubber bedclothes and an inflatable man
Strange woman, Laura's mum..
But anyhow, we were walking hand in hand down Main Street
When a child ran onto the road, ladies and gentlemen
I said, "Oh, my God! My nerves!" and I covered my eyes
I guess I'm that kind of guy
But Laura, who was made of stronger stuff than I
Dashed onto the road to save that child
Ladies and gentlemen, I wanna tell ya
The child made to the other side
and turned round and said "Eee eu eee-e eh eu"
But Laura didn't
She made it to the white line in the center of the road
ladies and gentlemen
When a juggernaut came round the corner sideways and
flattened her
TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!
TELL LAURA I NEED HER!
(I blame myself, I blame myself!)
TELL LAURA NOT TO CRY
MY LOVE FOR HER
WILL NEVER DIE!
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, how can I tell you...
Some nights I lie awake, awash with sweat
as I hear the exact noise those lorries made when they
flattened Laura. It was a sorta SPLATTTTT!!!
You know the noise you get
when you stick a straw up a frog's bum and blow really hard?
I blame myself
I wanna tell ya, ladies and gentlemen
Main Street was not a pretty sight
There was bits of Laura everywhere
I remember, two bits were slidin' down the Post Office window
And a big Alsatian came round the corner and made off with another couple of bits. And it was with a heavy heart
and a tear in either eye-
I searched and I searched, but I couldn't find the
bit I was looking for!
(chorus)
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
9.5
(1 vote)
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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