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| Reviews: |
| This kind of thing has happened to me a lot, please long haired males of the universe, don't be deterred, the coolness of the look more then makes up for gender confusions every now and then! The music to this one is amazing as well, probably my favorite WQ song. | - oddaustin |
| Facts: |
| The drive-thru voices were provided by the great Luke Ski. (Sonic SBL) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
I went to a karaoke bar with my friend Coffee
In a small New England hick and junkie town
We mesmerized the crowd with our rendition of “I Touch Myself”
Ordered up a couple bottles and sat down
There was this older guy sitting way across the bar
He was giving me this weird, obnoxious stare
And I couldn’t really tell if he wanted to kick my ass
Or if he just thought he knew me from somewhere
He finally stumbled over, told us bout his Catholic mother
We could tell he’d had a drink or 23
So when he called me “her”, I just assumed it was a tongue slip
That was courtesy of Mister Jackie D.
Coffee let the dam break and let loose a tide of bulls**t
Bout his altar boy indiscretions back in the day
The guy just nodded drunkenly and put his arm around me
And said, “Where’d you meet this big girl anyway?”
My stunned brain regressed to Grover teaching me ‘bout “near” and “far”
And the latter seemed quite preferable to staying in this bar
So I deftly ducked and covered from the boozing loser’s grasp
Wished him luck on his ambiguity and started hauling ass
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
If long hair is all it takes to fool you
Then you must have skipped biology, avoided sociology
And probably bypassed puberty too
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
Have you ever seen a female anyhow?
'Cause if women looked like me, I think the porno industry
Would be filing for bankruptcy by now
I’m not a girl!
I was at a drive-thru shouting product names at a speaker
“Just a value chicken sandwich and two pies!” (“Thank you, drive through.”)
When an Oxy-basted numbskull in a giant NASA headset said
“Here you go, a large coke and large fries!”
I shook my head politely and I restated my order
And he looked at me as if this was a scam
He re-studied his order screen, re-held the foodstuffs at me
And shrugged and muttered, “That’s what it says, ma’am!”
Was I supposed to just accept my lot and take the proffered swill?
For the mighty screen has spoken, who am I to doubt its will
I just told him, “I don’t give a f**k, what’s on your CRT?”
Can you even read it anyway, when you can’t even see
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
How the holy hell can’t you see that?
Sure my chest has got some perks
That don’t mean my nipples work
I can’t lactate buddy, I’m just fat
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
Don’t you know about the birds and the bees?
What in God’s name must I do just to get this through to you?
Should I walk around with my pants around my knees?
I’m not a girl!
My build is not petite, I’ve got awkward hanging meat
I can wipe myself anyway I choose
I don’t need no medication to inhibit procreation
And I don’t listen to Dave Matthews
I get no joy from shoppin’ and you won’t catch me she-boppin'
No, I’m turning Japanese most every night (I really think so)
When my sub-torso region's ill, I buy Cruex, not Vagisil
To alleviate the evil fungal blight (All right, all right)
I was stuck in K-Mart while my wife was trying clothes on
Which is often times a fate worse than a bris
When I heard a hobbling eighty-something woman from behind me
In a nasal voice saying, “Miss? Excuse me, miss?”
I turned around and gave the b***h a look that could melt a poodle
In hopes that this would make my gender clear
Undeterred, she gave me that impatient retail shopper look
And said, “Excuse me miss, do you work here?”
What drug does Medicare provide to make one think that it’s the norm
For a Dead Kennedys shirt and jeans to be a K-Mart uniform?
As confusion turned to anger and I felt the bile flow
I let loose a ventral mega tort, the gist of which was “Um, no.”
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
Oh, I’m bitchy, but it isn't PMS
Not a teardrop did I show when they drowned DiCaprio
I was still thinkin' 'bout Kate Winslet's breasts
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
And you’ll seldom see me wearing pantyhose
Go ahead and x-ray me, you won’t find one ovary
If Oprah likes a book, I know it blows
I’m not a girl (I’m not a girl)
(Sonic SBL) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(4 votes)
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| Played on 20 shows: |
 | 07-08-17, #AOTA-170708 |  | 12-31-06, #06-53 |
| 10-04-13, #MMDT20_13-40 | | 12-30-06, #ISGD-06-91 |
| 02-24-12, #MMDT20_12-08 | | 10-01-06, #06-40 |
| 06-26-09, #BR-09-71 | | 09-24-06, #MMS-46 |
| 06-12-09, #BR-09-69 | | 09-10-06, #06-37 |
| 01-10-09, #ROTP_229 | | 08-27-06, #06-35 |
| 12-15-07, #ROTP_173 | | 08-20-06, #06-34 |
| 09-15-07, #ROTP_160 | | 08-13-06, #06-33 |
| 08-25-07, #ROTP_157 | | 08-06-06, #06-32 |
| 02-26-07, #MM-97 | | 07-30-06, #06-31 |
| = Show you can listen to online |
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fiogf49gjkf0d Thank you so much. I hope we have a submit corrections feature in the future so I don't have to go through corrections this way again.
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fiogf49gjkf0d 1. Coffee
2. he just thought
3-6 (Here is the part following "Mr. Jackie D.")
Coffee let the dam break and let loose a tide of bullshit
'Bout his altar boy indiscretions back in the day
The guy just nodded drunkenly and put his arm around me
And said "Where'd you meet this big girl anyway?"
My stunned brain regressed to Grover teaching me 'bout "near" and "far"
And the latter seemed quite preferable to staying in this bar
So I deftly ducked and covered from the boozing loser's grasp
Wished him luck on his ambiguity and started hauling ass
7-9
I was at a drive-thru shouting product names at a speaker
(yelled) "Just a value chicken sandwich and two pies"
(distorted response "Thank you drive through")
And an Oxy-basted numbskull in a giant NASA headset.....
10
My build is not petite, I've got awkward hanging meat
Correction: "self-torture" should be "sub-torso"
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fiogf49gjkf0d 11. she-boppin'
12. self-torture
13. megatort, the gist of which was
14. I was still thinkin' 'bout Kate Winslet's breasts
Corrections
"Sure my test has got some perks" (test should be chest)
"Should I whip around" (Should I walk around with)
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fiogf49gjkf0d Duh, sorry. I forgot that it was played.
--- SpongeBobLuvr
Check the first part of MMS-46.
--- peterpuck9
I\\'ll help, if I could find a recording of the song somewhere. Where is it available?
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fiogf49gjkf0d Check the first part of MMS-46.
--- peterpuck9
I\'ll help, if I could find a recording of the song somewhere. Where is it available?
--- SpongeBobLuvr
I\\'ve revised the lyrics and renumbered the missing lines. Anyone else want to help?
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fiogf49gjkf0d I've revised the lyrics and renumbered the missing lines. Anyone else want to help?
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fiogf49gjkf0d Oh, yeah, one more I just figured out:
[26] For a Dead Kennedys shirt and jeans to be a K-Mart uniform?
Once again, best of luck and stay demented,
<-----10-23-2006-----MSG----->
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fiogf49gjkf0d Just post a message right here and I'll take care of it.
--- emschwar
Well, drat. How do I put my transcription up? I have several sections you (SpongeBobLuvr) couldn\'t figure out, but there doesn\'t seem to be any way to contribute it.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Well, drat. How do I put my transcription up? I have several sections you (SpongeBobLuvr) couldn't figure out, but there doesn't seem to be any way to contribute it.
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fiogf49gjkf0d I had most of it, but you helped me with a few irritating parts. I'm posting what I have at this point (at least, I think I am; I'm not sure I know how to use this site properly).
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fiogf49gjkf0d It's not my best transcription, since I didn't hear the song before. I might have given you what you were missing. The bracketed numbers are what I need help with. If anyone can figure them out, give me the missing words with the number.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Are the lyrics available anywhere online? I can understand most of them, but there are a few lines here and there that I can only transcribe with [unintelligible]. I'm trying to decipher them myself, but I'd be much happier if someone else, say, ShoEboX, had done it for me.
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