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Facts: |
Made #1 on the Dr. Demento Funny 25 for 2007. (czwrefsteven) |
Web pages about this song: |
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Song Lyrics: |
I decided it was time for me to find a new phone Correction, my two-year-old decided on her own To see how many things could fit into the toilet one day I lost my phone, keys, and glasses in the swirliest way I looked for a deal that would appeal to me I looked around and finally found a buy one, get seven free With free interplanetary calling daily after lunch And more free minutes than there are in a month A little camera takes pictures that it sends to all my friends Thirty-five megapixels and a telephoto lens 3D and night vision are all standard I suppose But I paid extra for the lens that lets me see through your clothes I can use it as a remote to control my TV And even download all my favorite songs as MP3 And the quality astounds, it's in full surround sound But I don't know how to change the Hello Kitty background GPS, email, and that stuff ain't enough This phone deflects bullets for when calling gets rough It does just about anything at all (pause) But I can't make a damn phone call!
Can you hear me now? (sample: "What the hell did he say?") (repeat 4 times)
It's amazingly small, but has all the latest tech And attaches to my chest like they do on Star Trek And you gotta check out the holographic display It's telepathic, pornographic, and will make you obey Text messaging used to be a pain But now it's easy 'cause the words are pulled directly from my brain And translated into any language thirty-seven ways And did I mention the protection against UV rays? It keeps me online anywhere that I am So I can download porn from in a traffic jam And have the coolest chats where I pretend to be an elf With an FBI agent who pretends he's twelve My ring tone catches most folks by surprise Out of nowhere you hear (sample: "Smell my nipple, win a prize.") And it can make a sound that repels bugs And if I turn it up I can drive my relatives nuts I can call through time, I can talk to the dead I can pretend that I'm a Borg and attach it to my head I can play back every phone call I ever heard (pause) But I can't understand a damn word!
(chorus)
woman: "Thank you for calling Phonitron Global Wireless, a leader in cellular technology. How may I assist you today?"
You can start with this piece of --- phone you sold me And --- up your --- along with everything you told me You stupid mother--- think you're all so slick Well you --- can all just suck --- And a ten year contract?! What the --- is that --- It's ---, you can --- my left --- Go --- yourself, and --- the horse you --- --- you, --- boysenberry pie ---
woman: "I'm sorry, sir. You're breaking up. Please call back at a later time, or try calling us back from a land line."
AAARRRGGHHH!!
Source: www.thefump.com (peterpuck9) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(4 votes)
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Played on 45 shows: |
| 03-03-23, #WOTR_316 | | 12-31-07, #MMS-106 |
| 01-29-22, #AOTA-220129 | | 12-30-07, #07-52 |
| 08-01-20, #AOTA-200801 | | 12-28-07, #MMDT20_07-51 |
| 01-05-19, #AOTA-190105 | | 11-11-07, #07-45 |
| 12-01-18, #AOTA-181201 | | 09-09-07, #07-36 |
| 08-12-17, #AOTA-170812 | | 09-05-07, #KMCC-4-01 |
| 06-14-17, #ISGD-17-24 | | 09-01-07, #ROTP_158 |
| 01-14-17, #AOTA-170114 | | 07-01-07, #07-26 |
| 01-08-17, #WOTR_20 | | 06-30-07, #ROTP_149 |
| 01-07-17, #17-01 | | 06-10-07, #07-23 |
| 05-10-15, #BWR-15-05-10 | | 04-29-07, #07-17 |
| 01-12-13, #AOTA-130112 | | 04-22-07, #07-16 |
| 05-12-12, #AOTA-120512 | | 04-08-07, #07-14 |
| 05-08-12, #BWR-12-05-08 | | 03-25-07, #07-12 |
| 03-24-12, #12-12 | | 03-18-07, #07-11 |
| 02-11-12, #AOTA-120211 | | 03-17-07, #ROTP_134 |
| 08-27-11, #11-35 | | 03-11-07, #07-10 |
| 01-30-09, #BR-09-58 | | 03-04-07, #07-09 |
| 01-16-09, #BR-09-56 | | 02-26-07, #MMS-67 |
| 12-27-08, #ROTP_227 | | 02-18-07, #07-07 |
| 08-31-08, #08-35 | | 02-11-07, #07-06 |
| 03-21-08, #BR-08-11 | | 01-28-07, #ROTP_127 |
| 12-31-07, #MM-139 | | |
| = Show you can listen to online |
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