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6:59
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| Song Lyrics: |
"The Saga of Smuggler Bill"
Twas a cold and foggy summer night
In the City by the Bay.
At the bar they call "The Funky Joint",
The dealers were at play.
There was Cocaine Bill and Hashish Hal
And Hydrobromide Sue
And the reefer smoke would've made you choke
And the punch would turn you blue.
All the women were dressed like high-priced whores;
The men were hairy and lean.
They snorted their coke through a "century note"
And knew they were making the scene.
When out of the gloom and into the room
Stepped a man with a neck so red,
That I said, with a wink, "Y'know, I think
You want another bar instead!"
He said, "My fellow hippie -
For I am one of those -
'Hip' does not come from length of hair;
'Far out' is not from clothes.
Being 'high' is who you are
And not your brand of pill.
I'm in the marijiuana game;
My name is Smuggler Bill."
And then he gave an eerie shriek
Which made our heart-strings snap
He heaved himself atop the bar
And started into rap:
"Oh, some may sing of the Yukon
And some of Mandalay
But I must sing of the real thing
And what's happening today!
"I nearly died in Vietnam
And then, when I got back,
I found my folks in Bakersfield
Living in a shack.
There was no food; there were no jobs.
No money could I find
And then I met an Army pal
With a scheme that blew my mind!
"His name was Pedro Gomez
And he liked his chili hot.
His grandpa lived in Mexico
And grew a field of pot.
The summer had been warm and bright;
They had a heavy yield.
He wanted me to drive a truck
From Nogales to Bakersfield.
"I do not care too much for weed;
I'm more inclined to booze.
But a hundred-thousand dollars
Was too much to refuse!
An iron lung for Betty Lou,
Some shoes for little Pete
A pretty dress for sister Tess
And food for all to eat!
"So we boogied down to Mexico
Where the golden eagle soars
In a truck with the name of a famous chain
Of retail grocery stores.
And there we made fiesta
Until far into the night.
And we loaded the truck with kilo bricks
By the early morning light.
"Then Pedro's wife clutched at his shirt
And stared him in the eye.
She said, 'Don't go, querido;
I fear today you die!'
But Maria could not hold him back
And up to the truck we strode.
Suddenly, a shot rang out
And Pedro fell dead in the road!
"More shots rang out; Maria screamed;
My heart had stopped in fright!
Old Grandpa shouted, 'You must go!
We will stay and fight!'
It was the Federales
And they had us by surprise
When all my kin, so pinched and thin,
They flashed before my eyes!
'We Shall Overcome,' I screamed
As I turned the engine on
And they set the fields on fire
As I sped off through the dawn.
"At last, I came to the border gate
And I began to pray.
There was a mean and ugly guard
And he stood in my way.
'You sure you got tomatoes, kid,'
He asked with a nasty leer.
And I drove on top of that lousy cop
As I slammed the truck in gear!
"Fourteen thousand pounds of weed
And all of it was tops.
The semi raced through desert wastes
And all I saw was cops.
They followed me in squad cars
And they followed me in jeeps.
They flew above in aeroplanes
And that gave me the creeps!
"But the truck was built by Pedro's dad,
A mechanic with Einstein's brain.
The engine was blown and only he'd known
What the gas tank did contain.
I pushed a button on the dash;
The smokestacks belched blue flame;
The tires shrieked; the engine moaned;
A shudder shook the frame!
"I pulled away from the fuzz so fast
That it seemed that they stood still
And I looked in the rear-view mirror and laughed
And popped another pill.
A gallon jug of coffee
And hearts of Dexedrine...
I was looking pale and wasted
And my thoughts were black and mean.
"I was coming down from my last pill;
I knew I needed more
When I saw poor Pedro's Levi's shirt
Still lying on the floor.
I reached in the pocket; I found his stash.
I grinned with unholy glee!
But it wasn't an innocent paper of speed...
Twas a gram of LSD.
(next four lines spoken slowly, speeding up slightly each line)
"Soon I became so wide awake,
I was in another place.
The road became a rattlesnake
That danced before my face.
The engine had become my heart;
My feet became the wheels.
My veins were filled with diesel fuel.
I sang, 'HOW GOOD IT FEELS!'
"I suddenly saw that the desert pass
Had a giant woman's form
With a garment of cactus and Joshua trees
And hair like a distant storm.
I drove along her stomach white
And up unto her chest
And as the sun was sinking low
I drove across her breasts.
I drove among the purple hills
And felt a nameless dread...
Yet how could I know that the highway patrol
Had a roadblock set ahead?!
"On a stretch they called 'The Grapevine'
Where the road is snarled in curves
With switchbacks, cliffs and hairpin turns
To test the strongest nerves,
They laid in wait to seal my fate
On a turn they thought was blind...
But they couldn't grok; I could see through rock
With my psychedelic mind!
I saw them from six curves away;
I'll see them ever more!
I knew there was no turning back
As down the pass I tore.
"At Angel's Hairpin, where they hid,
There was an awesome cleft.
The cliff went straight up on my right
And straight down on my left.
The gorge went in for half-a-mile
With a road cut inside
While at its mouth, the chasm yawned
Two hundred paces wide!
"I could not stop, I could not turn!
I raged, I spat, I swore,
'AH, WHAT THE @#$%; I'LL JUMP THE TRUCK!'
And I stomped it to the floor!
Up...out across the chasm wide,
The mighty semi flew
And I heard them yell like the damned in hell
When they saw their game was through!
"I touched the ground with a soft rebound
Like a girl in some ballet.
When I saw the lights of Bakersfield,
I smiled and lit a 'jay'.
I took the truck in the dead of night
To a place I will not name.
I traded the stash for a box of cash
But the world was not the same!
"Oh, some may sing of the Yukon
And some of Mandalay..."
And, here, he paused with slackened jaws
Forgetting what to say.
The crowd was hushed; his face was flushed;
We knew he'd gone too far.
He looked at the ceiling, howled like a dog
And then puked and fell off of the bar!
ARRRROOOOOOO...BLEEEEK...HA-KLUNK! (ChrisWolvie) |
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Current Rating
0.0
(0 votes)
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fiogf49gjkf0d Ah, c',mon! "Grok" is like "Zen," it's timeless!
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fiogf49gjkf0d I was going strictly by the lyrics of the song. And I'll admit that I couldn't get "Hydrobromide" despite how many times I listened. As for "grok", it was a BIT before my time, but I'll trust your better knowledge. Those two I changed. The rest I leave as is.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Thanks for posting this!
I heard this performed at a "Tribal Stomp" gathering in People's Park, Berkeley about 30 years ago, and it stuck with me ever since. At parties, I'll sometimes recite it from memory as a nice change from the usual "Shooting of Dan McGrew" stuff. So nice to come across these lyrics!
Now if I could only find tapes or scripts for Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre's serial about the Power Kids and Rodo the Monster (from real far away)....
But I did spot a couple of minor inaccuracies (checked against my tape of the original as performed live, so possibly just variants). Two at least are correct corrections - Verse 1 (V1) and V18. Note: 'grok' is an allusion to Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land ", much loved by hip folk of a certain age...
V1: "Hydrobromide Sue"
V3: "They call me Smuggler Bill"
V4: "...started in to rap"
V9: "Then Pedro's wife clutched at his shirt"
V18:
"On a stretch they call 'The Grapevine'
Where the road is snarled with curves;
Switchbacks, cliffs and hairpin bends
To test the strongest nerves,
They lay in wait to seal my fate
On a turn they though was blind
But they couldn't grok, I could see through rock..."
V19: "And the road cut in inside"
V22: "And here Bill paused, with slackened jaws"
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Enter a New Message
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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