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Song Details
By: Sudden Death
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
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Rank this week: 16 (↑19)
Duration: 4:13 
Release Date: 6/1/2007  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: T. Rockwell/T. Uliasz (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: T. Rockwell/T. Uliasz (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: T. Rockwell (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: FIDIM Interactive, LLC (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: FIDIM Publishing (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: CC 
  • Vocals: T. Rockwell, L. Sienkowski, T. Crist, J. Ringold, C. Mezzolesta, M. Uliasz (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I get up and take seven or eight little pills
    And feel great, 'cause they handle all of life's little ills
    Then a shower and a shave and I practice my karate
    'n chase a caffeine pill with a double mocha latte
    And I'm off, take a pill for my cough
    And another pill because my eyeball is too soft
    Take a pill twice a day to keep my flatulence at bay
    And a pill to make the leprechauns go away
    I take a pill for ED though I don't need it yet
    I figure why wait, I'll take all the help I can get
    And my appetite, yup, got a pill for that
    But I'm still fat, dammit, I would kill for that
    This pill counteracts the side-effects of that pill
    And that pill I need so I can tolerate the other pill
    With all these pills I can finally do my job
    Just fine, I'm a pilot and my flight is at nine

    Pills pills pills! I'm filled with pills!
    Take another pill when I see my medical bills
    Poppin' 'em like M&Ms and then get refills
    Till I rattle when I walk (repeat)

    We got a new pill approved by the FDA
    And got it moved to the pharmacies yesterday
    The ad campaign has started and we're targeting middle-aged
    Males, and predicting seven trillion in sales
    But that isn't nearly enough to keep the stock price
    Up, so it's time to get tough
    We need a product we can sell to every person on the planet
    I need more cash in my underwear, dammit!
    How about a pill that helps you make more money?
    Or one that makes Larry The Cable Guy funny?
    Or a pill that can cure road rage, also known
    As Vehicular Aggression Syndrome, No no
    Think bigger, think outside of the pill box, All men
    could use a pill to make them understand women, Gentlemen
    I think I've got it, a thought so cunning I got chills
    We need a way to make it easier to take more pills!

    woman: “What’s wrong, honey?”
    man: “Ugh, I’m so depressed. I’m taking so many pills, and now the doctor says I have to take ANOTHER pill for my mood swings! I DON’T WANNA TAKE ANOTHER PILL!! DAMMIT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! (cries) It’s not fair! (sob) Why do I have to have mood swings? (happy) Ooh! A penny!”
    woman: “Don’t worry, honey, now there’s Liquiplox.”
    man: (scared) “No! Not another pill!”
    woman: “Liquiplox isn’t a pill. It’s a liquid solution which relaxes the lining of your throat making it easier to swallow pills.”
    man: (gasp) “So now I can take all my pills easily?!” woman: “That’s right honey!”
    man: “I’m gonna ask my doctor about Liquiplox today!”
    woman: “Good for you!”
    man: (angrily) “Dammit, woman, where’d you put the doctor’s phone number?”

    Side effects include
    Headache, runny nose, drowsiness, and a rash
    A sugar high, bloating, and an absence of cash
    Vomiting, abdominal cramps,' and diarrhea
    And an overwhelming urge to buy a couch from Ikea
    Acute kidney failure and acidic blood
    A massive build up of that eyeball crud
    Melted genitals, eyesight like a bug
    Death, and reincarnation as a slug

    "Liquiplox isn’t for everyone. People without health insurance or who otherwise may be unable to pay should not take Liquiplox. People taking Liquiplox should avoid alcohol as the combination could result in an explosion. Do not stop taking any of your other medications without consulting your doctor as this may cause an unsafe drop in our profit margins. If you experience priapism-an erection lasting longer than four hours- find a prostitute immediately. Ask your doctor if Liquiplox is right for you."

    (outro) What's the time?! It's time to take pills! (repeat and fade)

    ©2007 T. Rockwell/T. Uliasz
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.2 (3 votes)
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