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Song Details
Duration: 4:45 
Release Date: 1977  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis/George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 1075 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords: AUDIENCE INTERACTION, BEER, OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR, STAND-UP COMEDY 
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Song Lyrics:
Did you ever notice there aren't many Chinese guys named Rusty? Guess the name never caught on over there. But you got here. Did you all come in the same van by any chance? Well, there's a feeling of unity, y'know. Good news, nice, you know, yeah, somebody else, yeah. Oh-oh. (does bird whistle; audience copies it) Come on, let me hear it! (crowd whistles louder) No problem. s**t, I used to work in a pet shop. I'm used to that. Right in the morning when they want their seed.

But you're still the audience. You all came from different places. That's what I like. Everybody comes from a different house, different apartment, different room. You left your room! "I'm leaving my room!" And you come all the way here to act as a unit. It's great! You ought to have a reunion next year, y'know? Get together; talk about the show. Well, I think of that. Audience responsibility, man. When I'm driving to the theater, gonna see a show, saying to myself, what kind of of a member of the audience will I be tonight? Will I be a credit to my row? Will we win Row of the Year? Suppose we get some s**t from another section! Balcony always feels they have a little more soul than the folks in the orchestra, hm? (audience grumbles) You take that s**t from them? (balcony shouts 'No!') They said PPPPPPTTTT! They're coming down. They're coming down. See that? We've been here ten minutes and already you're choosing up sides, man. There's always a few people left over from the Black Sabbath concert, man. Just- if you just elect a spokesman, I'll be glad to answer, man, but oddly enough these places are built for the voices to go...that way. And all I hear is VRASHNOVEER..s**t, I've got to turn around. "a*****e, GET OFF!" I broke a nail on that, too. Sure, you're ok.

(picks up a Heineken) Heineken, right. Bottled in Holland. Brewed and bottled in Holland. This was made in Holland. D'ja ever think about that s**t? Must've come to New York first, probably. Some sonofabitch drove this all the way here. Cross country trip for a bottle of beer.

When you're in someone else's house, do you look in their drawers when they leave you alone? "Jesus, look at that." I do. I don't want to steal it, just want to know where it is, y'know. That's all- in case they need a hand. But did you ever look in a desk drawer, anybody's desk drawer; any desk in the world. You open up that top, flat middle drawer. Not the three on the side...or the two that look like three. Doesn't that p**s you off? The desk is lying! But that top middle drawer. Did you ever notice there's always four cents in the tray? I take it, f**k 'em, you know? You leave it around, I'll pick it up.
(Stavro Arrgolus)
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Current Rating 9.5 (1 vote)
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Messages about the song: "On The Road"
 
 
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