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| Song Lyrics: |
Thank you, thank you, welcome to our show. Don't you think it's just a little bit strange that Ronald Reagan had an operation on his a*****e and George Bush had an operation on his middle finger. Huh? Huh? What are these two men trying to tell us?
Now I'd like to begin tonight with an opening announcement. Because of the FCC, I'm never sure what it is I'm allowed to say. So..so, I now have my own official policy. This is the language you will not be hearing tonight.
You will not hear me say bottom line, game plan, role model, scenario or hopefully. I will not kick back, mellow out or be on a roll. I will not 'go for it' and I will not 'check it out'; I don't even know...'what it is'. And when I leave here, I definitely will not boogie. I promise not to refer to anyone as a class act, a beautiful person or a happy camper. I will also not be saying "what a guy." And you will not hear me refer to anyone's lifestyle. If you want to know what a moronic word "lifestyle" is, all you have to do is realize that in a technical sense, Attila the Hun had an active outdoor lifestyle.
I will also not be saying any cute things like- "Moi?" And I will not use the French adverb "tre" to modify any English adjectives. Such as "tre awesome," "tre gnarly," "tre fabou," "tre intense," or "tre outta sight." I will not say concept when I mean idea. I will not say impacted when I mean affected. There will be no hands-on state-of-the-art networking. We will not maximize, prioritize or finalize...and we definitely will not interface. There will also...there will also be no new age lingo spoken here tonight. No support group jargon from the human potential movement. For instance, I will not share anything with you. I will not relate to you and you will not identify with me. I will give you no input and I will expect no feedback. This will not be a learning experience, nor will it be a growth period. There'll be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, no nurturing. We will not establish a relationship, we will not have any meaningful dialogue and we definitely will not spend any quality time. We will not be supportive of one another so that we can get in touch with our feelings in order to feel good about ourselves. And if you're one of those people who needs a little space, please...GO THE f**k OUTSIDE!
©1990 George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
9.5
(1 vote)
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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