|
|
|
|
|
| Web pages about this song: |
|
| Song Lyrics: |
Now this next thing is about names, that’s all, names. Names are an interest of mine, not a hobby, hobbies cost money, interests are free. This is just about names. Did you ever notice how they name singles bars? Singles bars all have the same cutesy little one-word names that end in ‘s’. Scamps, Tramps, Chaps, Rumors, Cahoots, Cheers, Chances, Mingles, Risks, Gambits, Notions. Hey, if I had a singles bar, you know what I’d call it? Nipples and Dicks! A little truth in advertising! The Sperm Club! Snatch o’ Rama! The Crotch-a-teria! Frankie’s Fuckery! Café Vagina! Open All Night! Well, I’m an old fashioned guy. I’m old fashioned because I believe the name on the outside of a place ought to let you know what’s going on on the inside. Here would be a good name for a gay restaurant, “The Mouthful”, huh? Come on, that’s clever s**t, that’s a double pun goddammit, you didn’t think of it! Besides, you don’t have to eat there if you don’t want to. No, no, just go in, have a cocktail… or a high-ball.
Here’s another name I don’t care for, TGI Fridays, you know these cutesy-ass little places? TGI Fridays! Hghhh. That whole “TGIF” thing was cute for about an hour… and that was 65 years ago when someone first said it on the radio. Not cute anymore, time to start bombing these locations! TGI Fridays, if I had a place like that, you know what I’d call it? HSIOW… Holy s**t, It’s Only Wednesday. I think people would drink a lot more liquor if they thought it was Wednesday all the time. Well I’m just looking for a little honesty in these names. A little honesty, that’s not asking a lot. I’m thinking of opening up a motel and calling it “The Sleep 'n’ f**k”. Wouldn’t that be a good honest name for a motel? Who needs this "Shady Pines” bulls**t? “The Sleep 'n’ f**k” motel; get me one of them big neon signs, “Sleep… f**k… Sleep n’ f**k!” You put it right at the Jersey entrance to the Holland tunnel you know? Actually “f**k n’ Sleep” would be a little more accurate, wouldn’t it? Best name for a motel would be “The f**k n’ Smoke n’ Sleep n’ Roll Over and Get Out of Bed and Wash Your Crotch and Grab a Bite, Two Cans of Mr. Pib and Go Home and f**k a Whole Lot More” 'cause that’s all they have left in those soda machines on Sunday night, Mr. Pib and Diet Shasta Orange… and that yellow can of Canada Dry tonic water that nobody wants!
And speaking of naming things, am I the only person in this country who’s laughing when these commercials come on television for “Snapper Lawn Mowers”? Isn’t there anyone else in this fading republic who knows what a snapper is? A snapper is a *****, okay? That’s what it means, “snapper” means “*****”. It’s derived from an older, more specific term, “Snappin’ *****”… which describes a particular type of *****, one with good quick muscular control, kind of an elasticity in the vaginal wall that can grab a hold of you and give you a decent hump, you know what I’m talking about. A snappin’ *****! But now, now “snapper” means any kind of ***** and they’ve named a lawn mower company after it! Now I have seen a few snappers in my day, never seen one that’ll cut grass! No, no, maybe do a little edging, a little edging along the driveway after a party, that’s all you can hope for. But you know, “weed whacker”, you can understand! (Stavro Arrgolus) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Current Rating
0.0
(0 votes)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Enter a New Message
|
Message:
|
|
|
|
Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
|
|
|
|