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| Facts: |
| This bit is originally from "Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album" (1980) (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
(Couple at home on Sunday morning. Loud bells
in background)
Man (Graham Chapman): I wish those bloody bells would stop.
Woman (Terry Jones): Oh, It's quite nice, dear. It's Sunday. It's the church.
M: What about us atheists? Why do we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
W: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.
M: The principle's the same. Bleedin' C of E! The Mohammedans
don't come round 'ere wavin' bells at us. We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom, or Hindus 'armonizing in the hall. The Shintoists don't come 'ere shatterin' sheet glass in the shithouse and shoutin' shlogans!
W: All right, don't practice your alliteration on me.
M: Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer badge
back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive
to launch a protest against that religious racket.
Pass the butterknife.
W: What?
M: PASS THE BUTTERKNIFE! Thank you! If only we 'ad some kind of missile...
W: Hang on, I'll close the window!
M: What?
W: I SAID I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW!
(sound of window closing- bells slightly quieter)
M: If only we 'ad some kind of missile, we could take the steam outta those bells.
W: Well, you could always use the #14 St. Joseph-The-Somewhat-Divine-on-the-Hill ballistic missile. It's in the attic.
M: What ballistic missile would this be, then?
W: I made it for you. It's your birthday present.
M: Just what I wanted. 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet.
Here!
W: What?
M: Those bells are getting louder!
W: What?
M: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!
W: The bells are getting louder...Oh, look!
M: What?
W: The church! It's getting closer! It's coming down the 'ill!
M: What a liberty!
W: It's turning into Elm Lane
M: Straight through the lights, of course!
W: Typical! Well, you'd better go put it out of it's misery.
M: Where's this missile, then?
W: It's in the airing cupboard! Press the button marked "church"!
M: 'ow do I aim it?
W: Oh, it automatically homes in on the nearest place of worship!
M: That's St. Marks!
W: It isn't now! Look! Oh! It's opening the gate!
M: What? Use the megaphone!
W: IT'S OPENING THE GATE!
M: I'll pop up to the airing cupboard!
W: Hurry up! It's trampling over the begonias!
(sound of missile launching, then a horrible crash with the
recorded sound of bells slowing and stopping)
M: Did I 'it it?
W: Yes, right up the aisle.
M: Well, I've always said there's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know if he believes in anything or not.
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(1 vote)
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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