|
|
|
|
|
| Facts: |
| Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett performed the original version of "String" on April 27, 1967 in The Frost Report episode "The Frost Report on Advertising" (S2 E4). (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
|
| Song Lyrics: |
Wapcaplet (John Cleese): Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang!
Mr. Simpson (Eric Idle): Thank you.
Wapcaplet: Do sit down. My name's Wapcaplet, Adrian Wapcaplet...
Mr. Simpson: How'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson... French, is it?
Mr. Simpson: No.
Wapcaplet: Ahh. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.
Mr. Simpson: String.
Wapcaplet: String, washing powder, what's the difference? We can sell anything.
Mr. Simpson: Good. Well, I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand miles of it to be exact, which I inherited and I thought if I advertised it-
Wapcaplet: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string. No trouble there.
Mr. Simpson: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
Wapcaplet: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
Mr. Simpson: What?
Wapcaplet: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"
Mr. Simpson: For what?
Wapcaplet: Uhmm... "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
Mr. Simpson: Such as?
Wapcaplet: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attaching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...
Mr. Simpson: Destroying household pests?! How?
Wapcaplet: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it and if they're smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
Mr. Simpson: Surely!....
Wapcaplet: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!"
Mr. Simpson: 'Ospitals!?
Wapcaplet: Ever been a hospital where they didn't have string?
Mr. Simpson: No, but it's only string!
Wapcaplet: Only string?! It's everything! It's...it's waterproof!
Mr. Simpson: No, it isn't.
Wapcaplet: All right, it's water resistant then!
Mr. Simpson: It isn't!
Wapcaplet: All right, it's water absorbent! It's...Super Absorbent String! "ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX STRINGETTES! AWAY WITH FLOODS..."
Mr. Simpson: You just said it was waterproof!
Wapcaplet: "AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD PREVENTERS!"
Mr. Simpson: You're mad!
Wapcaplet: Shut up, shut up, shut up. Sex, sex, sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor- that's too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing the string. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Makarios? No, no, he's dead... Never mind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper... So, there's Archbishop Makarios' brother and a doctor in a bath with this nude woman, two kids and a dog.... (Stavro Arrgolus) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Current Rating
10.0
(2 votes)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Enter a New Message
|
Message:
|
|
|
|
Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
|
|
|
|