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| Facts: |
| 'Stake Your Claim' was a bit made for the Fliegender Zirkus episodes. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
Game Show Host: Good evening and welcome to Stake Your Claim. First this evening, we have Mr Norman Voles of Gravesend who claims he wrote all Shakespeare's works. Mr Voles, I understand you claim that you wrote all those plays normally attributed to Shakespeare?
Mr. Voles: That is correct. I wrote all his plays and my wife
and I wrote his sonnets.
Game Show Host: Mr Voles, these plays are known to have been performed in the early 17th century. How old are you, Mr Voles?
Mr. Voles: 43.
Game Show Host: Well, how is it possible for you to have
written plays performed over 300 years before you were born?
Mr. Voles: Ah well. This is where my claim falls to the ground.
Game Show Host: Ah!
Mr. Voles: There's no possible way of answering that argument,
I'm afraid. I was only hoping you would not make that
particular point, but I can see you're more than a match for
me!
Game Show Host: Mr Voles, thank you very much for coming along.
Mr. Voles: My pleasure.
Game Show Host: Next we have Mr Bill Wymiss who claims to have built the Taj Mahal.
Mr. Bill Wymiss: No.
Game Show Host: I'm sorry?
Mr. Bill Wymiss: No. No.
Game Show Host: I thought you cla...
Mr. Bill Wymiss: Well, I did, but I can see I won't last a minute with you.
Game Show Host: Next...
Mr. Bill Wymiss: I was right!
Game Show Host: ... we have Mrs Mittelschmerz of Dundee who cla... Mrs Mittelschmerz, what is your claim?
Mrs. Mittelschmerz (Graham Chapman in drag): That I can burrow through an elephant.
Game Show Host: (Pause) Now you've changed your claim, haven't you. You know we haven't got an elephant.
Mrs. Mittelschmerz: (Insincerely) Oh, haven't you? Oh dear!
Game Show Host: You're not fooling anybody, Mrs Mittelschmerz. In your letter you quite clearly claimed that...er...you could be thrown off the top of Beachy Head into the English Channel and then be buried.
Mrs. Mittelschmerz: No, you can't read my writing.
Game Show Host: It's typed.
Mrs. Mittelschmerz: It says 'elephant'.
Game Show Host: Mrs Mittelschmerz, this is an entertainment
show and I'm not prepared to simply sit here bickering. Take
her away, Heinz!
Mrs. Mittelschmerz: Here, no, leave me alone!
(Sound of wind and sea).
Mrs. Mittelschmerz: Oooaaahh! (SPLOSH)
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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